3 Steps To Rewriting The Story That Keeps You Overweight

Welcome chicas.

So you’ve set yourself a magnetic goal. You’ve got a bunch of leverage on yourself and you’ve sussed potential obstacles.

Yee Ha.

That’s a super start, superstar.

What if I told you with 100% certainty that there’s something going on in that gorgeous head of yours which has the capacity to completely scupper your goal?

You’d be interested, right?

Hmmm. I thought you might.

The magic ingredient … with the power to make or break your goal is…..wait for it….

Your W.E.I.G.H.T. L.O.S.S. S.T.O.R.Y.

“Que? What the….?”

Let me explain…

Your story is something you’ve told yourself a scqwillion times* about why your weight is, or is not, a certain way.

It’s OK, you’re not a freak. We all have a weight loss story that we lug around with us. It’s part of being human.

We learn our story as a child and, as we grow up, we collect evidence for the story being true. Presently we get to where we forget it was just an idea and now treat it as gospel, so much so that we stop questioning it.

Our story then acts as a filter. We literally filter out any evidence that contradicts our story. We gather supporting evidence for our story and delete any contrary evidence. And it goes on unquestioned.

Our story becomes self-fulfilling. Even if it’s a limiting, unhelpful and painful story…. we find a way to live it out. Every time.

As if it’s not bad enough already….we get addicted to the story. We drag it around with us as our escape clause for when the going gets tough.

We get to say, “It’s not my fault I can’t lose weight, it’s just that I have this problem <<insert story here>> which is why I’m heavier than I want to be.”

How satisfying is that?

You’re right….not at all satisfying. No one in the history of the world felt replete on their story.

The problem with our stories is they preclude weight loss. You either have your story OR you have weight loss.

Not both.

One or the other.

Story or the weight loss.

Got it?

Weight loss or the story.

Good.

We clutch with both hands onto the story because on some level we feel it offers protection. It does the exact opposite. It keeps us stuck with excuse-i-tis, unhappy and overweight.

And we forget that it’s just a story WE MADE UP as a kid and we can re-write the script at any time.

And it’s an easy process.

Good aye :)

WARNING: tough love ahead

Some of you, c’mon … you know who you are… are thinking of skipping this section to get to the action bit because you’ll think, “yeah yeah, I understand this intellectually”.

If that’s you, let me ask you a question. Since when did being intellectual help you to lose weight?

You MUST complete today’s step in order to create the foundation for your successful weight loss journey.

Step 1 Identify your current story

Before you can rid yourself of your limiting story (ies) you’ve got to identify it so you can replace it with a supportive one.

Good let’s go…

The easiest way to discover your current story is by answering this question.

“Losing weight is hard for me because… “

…and permission granted to let your pen go crazy chica. Capture ALL the reasons bubbling to the surface in an attempt to defend that question.

You know the drill…don’t judge them, just write ‘em down. The longer the list the better.

Very rarely are these stories true but if you continue to talk about them like they gospel then you, lovely one, continue to be part of the problem.

So cut it out : )

Once you have a loooong list proceed to the next step.

Step 2 Introduce doubt

All stories can be changed if you introduce doubt. The minute you begin to question something you no longer really believe it.

Santa Claus anyone?!

Sometimes our old stories are reeeediculous and yet we grasp them out of habit.

The easiest way to introduce doubt is by seeing people who are achieving the exact thing you want and who have the same challenges you do. If you’re a busy overweight mum, find other busy happy-weight mums. If you’re menopausal and overweight, start noticing other menopausal women who aren’t overweight.

Trust me – they’re out there. It’s just up until now, because of your old story, you deleted any evidence of them.

I had a client whose story was, “It doesn’t matter what I eat, I’ll never lose the weight”. Whenever she found herself next to a box of chocolates, guess what happened.

That’s right, she scoffed the lot because, “I might as well eat the whole box of choccies” (since it doesn’t matter what I eat, I’ll never lose weight).

Crappy story = crappy thinking = crappy action = crappy result = weight gain.

Do you see how starting out with a limiting story ultimately leads to a negative result?

She agreed that if I put a Do Not Disturb sign on the fridge and feed her starvation rations (not a method I prescribe – but a girl’s got a point to prove) that indeed, yes, she could lose weight.

It was about now that she realised that by telling herself her old story she was giving herself the excuse to eat whatever she wanted. Remember: we always find a way to live out our stories. Not matter how much they hurt us.

If a story does not serve you let it go.

How you were defined as a child is not how you have to define yourself as an adult.

You have a choice. After all, once upon a time we all believed it was the tooth fairy who put that 50 cents under our pillow. I’m sure you don’t believe that story anymore.

Step 3 Practice makes perfect

The longer you’ve told yourself these lies, the more well-worn your neural path will be.

If this feels challenging – persist. Practice really does make perfect.

Now that you’ve discovered your old limiting story, you’ve introduced doubt, and replaced it with an inspirational and supportive one – go forth and practice.

Be proud of your new bestselling story and notice how much more satisfying your results are.

Bon appetite : )

We welcome you sharing your crummy old stories in the comments below. It’s helps us realise we’re not the only ones with fruit salad in our heads. Share the new bestselling stories too – they inspire us!

Love etc, Avril

PS: It is absolutely NOT necessary to plough up your past to discover from where a misguided story originated. Many people spend hundreds of hours in therapy trying to suss this out. I am happy to go on record as saying that it is unnecessary to know the origin.

Course if you’re intensely curious, knock yourself out. But to move forward, you need to realise that you are now an adult and your story is completely up to you. So get your pen out and start writing your new romance…..

*Most of my numbers are factual. This one, I admit, was pure fiction.

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10 Responses to 3 Steps To Rewriting The Story That Keeps You Overweight

  1. Tracie says:

    Hi Averil. Ouch that hurts. You’ve helped me see that my excuse is about being a mum. I know that in a way I blame my weight on my kids. Most of my friends are skinny and single. I know my kids aren’t to blame but they are a convenient story. I get to say I don’t have time and sabotage my efforts because my negative story lets me off the hook and I get to eat all the kids party food and left overs and I’m too busy to exercise. Ha ha, Or so I say. My story creates negative thoughts, creates negative actions, or no actions, so I never lose weight and I get to prove myself right!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Avril says:

    Hi Tracie It’s good that it hurts. If it hurts you’re close to the truth. And you know what they say about the truth….something about setting you free : ) Good on you for recognising your old story and the crappy defeating ways it holds you back from what you reeeeally want. Well done Tracie….so now Step 3 – what’s your new story? Now that you’ve introduced doubt into the old one, what’s the new best-selling story gonna be? Why not make it a self-romance with a bit of comedy thrown in?!!!!!!

  3. Sally says:

    How interesting that you post this now. A family member confronted me about my weight recently and I found myself telling them my whole story and even as I said it I realised, that’s a crock. It really is. I really found myself not believing what was coming out of my mouth and it has been playing on my mind for a little while now. I totally agree with your post and I’m ready to create a new reality for myself. It’s just a matter of changing habits now.

  4. Avril says:

    Hey Sally, timing is everything hey. Thanks for positing and sharing your thoughts here. I know there are lots of readers who’ll be inspired by your bravery. It’s interesting how you knew at the time, before reading this post, that what was coming out of your mouth was crock. Sometimes we need to put language around our story, to say it out loud to someone other than us, to realise how BS it is. And how much the story costs us. The story costs us physically clearly, and even more importantly – emotionally. The light inside of us is doused a little each time we replay our crappy story. Good on you for stepping up Sally and recognising that habit change is where it’s at. Our habits create (or destroy) us. Make ’em good ones. A small change every day over time will make a big difference.

    PS: I know you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway…that family member who confronted you about your weight did so with the best of intentions. They meant well. And we all need a nudge from time to time :)

  5. Annie says:

    What do you mean about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy?!?!?!?!?

  6. Juliette says:

    Here is just one of my stories the others I will keep till next Wednesday.
    I am just a farmers wife, the sheep and cattle don’t care how I look. Hey now! That’s not true. I should say I was a farmers wife. Today, I have to be a roll model for my grandkids and great grandkids….I am sometimes a public speaker….I am on a board of Governance. I need a new story to fit a new trim look that says…..follow in my foot steps, and be an achieiver, and make the world a better place.

    • Avril says:

      Go Juliette, go : ) Interesting isn’t it, how we clutch ‘stories’ about ourselves long after we’ve outgrown them. I love that you’ve kicked off the your dusty old story and are breathing in the Who Do I Want To Be Now story, and are making it one that serves, supports and empowers you, your grandkids, and great grandkids, and the world in general. You’re such an eloquent story teller, Mama Juliette, rock on : )

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