The doubts emerge. Nerves kick in.
“What if, um….?”
Your momentum decelerates. The excuses start to flow.
Now, you’re cross. Beyond cross.
You’ve been here before. And frankly, “you’ve had enough of this crap!”
The familiar ache sets in.
You question your ability, your stamina, your purpose. Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F.
That’s when you need to …
…Stop. Take a breath. Keep Calm.
Darling, there’s nothing wrong with you, your ability, your stamina, your purpose. Nothing. You’re good, OK?
All it is…is this. You, my friend, are in the sticky grasp of THE RESISTANCE.
I had my own tussle with le resistance this week. Maybe you can learn something from it.
There I was putting the final polish on the How To Conquer Your Cravings ebook, when my laptop made a whimpering sound, and died.
“Oh maaaaaaaaaan……this is sooooo not happening …..not THIS…..not NOW, oooooh craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!”
Toys flew. A long way from the pram.
I got a wee bit cross.
Then it hit me. In the midst of my toy throwing I snorted with laughter as I realised … it was simply resistance.
Sure it was one of the less obvious forms, but it was the ‘R’ word, all the same.
The Usual Suspects
We’re all familiar with the usual forms of resistance: procrastination, denial and perfectionism, to name a few.
When you don’t do what you promised yourself, or when you keep yourself stuck with your “I’ll start on Monday-i-tis.”
When you don’t ask for help (even though you know you need it), when you grab yet another cuppa, or go mow the lawn, when you’ve a deadline looming.
Those are the usual suspects, the ‘obvious’ signs that resistance lurks nearby.
Resistance is incredible at disguise. It has a wardrobe full of camouflage gear, enabling it to hide, just out of your sight.
A very common but less obvious way of resisting is illness. Sounds weird but think about it. It’s when you go and get sick on exam (or competition) day, or when you get sick after you’ve decided to make a change in your life.
You get ill, you delay making the change. And in Stuck-ville you stay. Sure, you feel terrible (no-one likes to feel sick), but you’re safe n sound in your comfort zone, well aren’t you?
There’s a third, even-less-obvious kind of resistance…
Another way we show our resistance is with our non-verbal actions. When we overeat, we drink, we smoke….or we create gear failure at crucial moments.
That was the moment I snorted with laughter – gear failure. THAT WAS ME!
In the midst of the hissy fit at the dead computer, I realised on some level I’d created the scenario I was playing out.
Why would I do that?
Well, I wouldn’t. At least, not consciously. But remember it’s our unconscious which is running the show.
If the book was delayed and unpublished then I’d get to stay safe and un-judged, comfortable.
As soon as I realised it was simply resistance, everything changed. The fearful voices in my head, the doubts, the excuses – evaporated.
The toys are back in the pram.
The momentum’s returned.
Now, I’m not saying that every time you get ill or have gear failure, you’re resisting. Sometimes, gear failure is just that – gear failure.
But very often, if you dig beneath the surface of the situation, you’ll see resistance in action.
The resistance was simply doing what the resistance does….pulling out all the stops to prevent me actually achieving what I’d set out to do. Thus keeping me safe and sound, in my (unpublished) comfort zone.
How do YOU resist?
Which brings me to you, dear reader. What are you resisting in your life which is keeping you stuck?
What’s it costing you? Emotionally? Physically? Financially?
Have you had enough? How much more would you need to take before you decided, ‘Enuff’s enuff?”
What is it you need to allow yourself to learn so you can move forward?
Allow your momentum to return.
(Unresisting) love etc, Avril