Who hasn’t fallen into the trap of,
– “When these lumps and bumps and wobbly bits have gone, then I’ll love my body.”
– Or, “I’ll enjoy my reflection and shop for clothes when I’m slimmer.”
– “Yeah, sure I’ll moisturise my thighs when they’re size XS.”
If this resonates with you then becoming your happy shape and size is going to be a challenge for you.
“You’re not good enough for my love…”
When you tell yourself stories like “I’ll love my butt when it’s the perfect peach,” you’re giving yourself conditional love.
And no-one, your beautiful self-included, responds well to conditional love.
Conditional love is about judgement and is very shaming.
It’s saying, “I don’t love you…. sure, if you make some changes, then I’ll consider loving you…. but right now, you’re not good enough for my love.”
If your friend said those words to you, wouldn’t you unfriend them? IMMEDIATELY!!!
And yet we speak to ourselves like that…. all the time.
Conditional love is about beating yourself up. When you think about it, it’s an odd concept.
“If I hate myself enough, I’d end up by loving myself^$#%*!!!”
And, we get so depressed, and down on ourselves we emotionally eat.
So what is the answer then?
Long term weight loss happens when you come from a position of acceptance, knowing that you already are perfect, whole and complete, right now.
Un-learning our broken-ness
Our broken-ness is learned, not innate.
Children come into this world knowing they are already gorgeous and utterly deserving of love.
We need to un-learn the illusion of our broken-ness. Only kindness makes sense. Anything else is excruciating.
We need to take care of our bodies with reverence instead of stuffing her beyond full every meal.
We need to shop for lovely new clothes irrespective our current size. We need to moisturise our thighs even if they’re not size XS.
Start giving her unconditional love today.
If you’re ready to break the old patterns of beating yourself up and you’re ready to fall in love with your body, why not join me in my free Facebook group Peace With Food?