Archives December 2011

There are frightening moments in any chica’s life.

In my experience there is nothing as intense as that instant when you get a glimpse of what is really possible.

FOR YOU.

Like a slap on the face, you realise how microscopically small you’ve been thinking.

With cut-glass clarity you see that you can play a much much bigger game. . . around your health, your relationships, your career…YOU.

It’s liberating. . . and scary as helicopter.

Questions bubble to the surface, “Can I really do this?”, “Can I let myself do that?” and, even better, “Oooh wow, imagine if I did?”

In other words…

“It’s time, honey. I’m ready to let go of these old limitations. Time to step up. Time to quit worrying about the opinions of others. Time for me to live my life in the hot bod I know deep down I deserve.”

This moment of discovery will leave you breathless.

It’s a game changer. It is wonderful.

It’s when we choose to go hard or go home.

As the last blog post for 2011, I invite you to take some time right now to re-ignite, re-inspire, and re-invigorate your dreams for yourself, your health and your life.

Here’s four tips to encourage you re-ignite your thinner sparkle so you can reeeally shine in 2012.

1. Watch Your Mind

Your thoughts are things. They can be powerful tools, or devastating weapons.

A mentor of mine often jokes with clients who claim they’ve no control of their thoughts. He says, “If you’re not the one in charge of your thoughts, let me know who is so I can have a chat with them”.

True or true?!

Those things in your head are your thoughts. Take responsibility for them.

Support yourself by listening to inspiring audiobooks on your iPod or in your car. Post affirmations on the fridge, in your wallet, on the pantry door….anywhere you’ll see them throughout the day. Start a gratitude journal.

Remind yourself…. what you focus on expands. So, place your attention on appreciation, joy and love. Or, whatever it is, of which you want more.

Be persistent. Get relentless. Negative thoughts are a luxury you can’t afford if you want to shine.

2. Make It Happen

Sometime ago, when I was trying to get confident enough to learn to sail, I chickened out three different times, visiting sailing clubs and leaving without actually sailing.

I was waiting for confidence to magically appear.

It never appeared.

But finally, with butterflies in my tummy, I hopped on board a boat and sailed anyway.

What I discovered was this…confidence shows up BECAUSE you take action. Not before.

What one action-step can you take toward your dream today?

3. What Are You Radiating?

Do you complain about how hard life is? Do whinge about how stuff you can’t control? Or sillier still, do you grumble about stuff you can control (instead of doing the thing Do you see yourself as someone who can’t create change so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Playing a bigger game means you radiate inner sparkle.

Stop posting on Twitter about how sh*t everything is. Quit dwelling on how bad things are and creating crappy drama in your life. Refrain from whinging to your friends about how hard it is to lose weight. (Save that stuff for your coach if you need to get it out of your system.)

Remember this… like attracts like. When you radiate inner sparkle, inner sparkle is drawn to you.

4. Stretch Your Comfort Zone. Every Day

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.”

This is one of my favourite expressions. Because it’s true.

I’ve worked with a bunch of wonderful women as a mentor and coach. The ones who send me emails about how their lives have changed are always the ones who are willing to stretch their comfort zones.

They try new things.

They allow themselves to get scared.

They say “yes” to new opportunities rather than staying on auto-pilot.

People who re-ignite their inner sparkle have one thing in common…. they learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

So, there you go gorgeous girl, your four tips for igniting your thinner sparkle for 2012.

Try ’em on for size.

As this is the final post for this year, I’d like to wish you all a bunch of play, joy and love over the celebration season.

And finally, I’d like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading every week and sharing your inspiring journeys. You guys totally rock.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, and here’s to playing an even bigger game in 2012.

Love etc, Avril

One day you will get the phone call.

Not the “whoop whoop, you’ve won lotto” call.

The other one.

Uh-oh.

The one that takes the wind out of your sails.

Breathless, confused and up-side-down, you find yourself.

Your world lurches sideways and, in the time it takes to right itself, you have a moment of perspicacious clarity.

Today was that day.

Here’s what I saw:

Sometimes sh*tty stuff happens to really good people. It’s not your fault. Accept it.

You are bigger than your pain. Really, you are. Whether it’s heart-ripped-from-your-chest-cavity-emotional stuff or a bloody knee. A scab will form. Promise.

Cry.

Stop trying to figure it out. There’s nothing to figure out. In the figuring out you’ll just create more confusion. There is nothing to do or fix. Just be.

You’re perfect, whole and complete. Exactly as you are.

Breathe.

Don your for-special-occasions-only white shirt today. Ninety-nine per cent of stains come out in the wash. Sweat, blood and tears…dark chocolate, fake tan too.

Heal.

Decide already. Decide to play a bigger game. Not because it’s expected of you. Because every fibre of you, wants it, for you. You’re here to sparkle, sweetheart.

Set the intention of feeling peaceful. Even Especially when things don’t turn out as you’d have dreamed.

Make a point of being as encouraging as possible, to everyone possible. Be kind, especially to yourself. And most especially when you’re on a new path.

Focus on what you want. What you focus on expands. Always. Expand the good stuff.

Don’t look back. Sure, peep in the rear view mirror but mostly face forward. Your best self is waiting, patiently.

Smile.

If you feel like you’re always failing, know this: if you keep on keeping on, you’re a freakin’ rock star, in my book. In anybody’s book.

Do not…

count calories.

Do…

eat wreck less amounts of vegetables.

Dance.

When you’re fumbling for the right words, remember the only sentence you ever really need is, “thank you”. It’s a complete sentence. “I’m sorry” goes a long way too.

Spend at least 15 minutes in nature every day. If you’re accompanied by your woofer or your soul mate, so much the better.

Laugh.

The notion there’s only one perfect person for each of us is an illusion that imprisons us in pain. You decide who your soul mate is. You decide who your soul mate is. You (not fate) chooses. What a liberating thought. Imagine… you could choose anyone.

The path to peace is listening to that small, shaky voice within. It has all the As to your Qs. Learn to ask great Qs and listen.

Every day step up to the edge of your comfort zone. Imagine who’s (or what is) waiting there for you. Never stop learning.

Trust.

Get some sunshine every day. Give some as well.

Insulate yourself from sinkers. Nuff said.

Give it to charity. If you’re not using it today and you didn’t use it yesterday, you don’t need it. Someone else probably does.

Trust there’s a gift buried in the confusion. Did it really happen to you, or for you?

Go lightly, go bravely and go with love.

Because, yes, life is short…but it can be very, very wide.

So, what specific strategies do YOU lovelies use when the wind is taken out of your sails? What do you do to re-right yourself? Share, inspire, connect.

Love etc, Avril

When rodents discover that what they’re doing isn’t working, they do something else.

When we good folk discover what we’re doing isn’t working, we look for someone to blame.

Uh-huh.

That’s according to bestselling business author Spencer Johnson in his delightfully funny book Who Moved My Cheese?

It contains a bunch of wonderful insights into human nature, especially around managing change.

Today I’d like to pass on a tremendously useful insight, especially for those of us on the weight change journey.

Who’s got the smarts?

In a nutshell, when the rats have a regular supply of cheese in a specific area of their enclosure they promptly learn where the cheese is located.

Unsurprising so far, right?

Here’s where it gets interesting.

When the location of the cheese is changed, the rats initially return to where it used to be. Upon finding the cheese missing, they search elsewhere until they find it in the new location.

Pretty sensible, yes?

Not that I claim to be a mind reader of rodents but you can see the logic, can’t you?

“The cheese isn’t where it was yesterday, I’ll have a look-see somewhere else.”

You might be thinking, “Yeah whatever, we all do that, don’t we?”

Uh-uh.

Nope.

No, really, we don’t.

See on some level, rats have more smarts than us. The rats quickly realise that if what they’re currently doing isn’t working, do something else.

But not us people…

What do we people do when we can’t find our metaphorical-cheese?

I’m pleased you asked.

We re-visit the former cheese location, and remind ourselves, “Well, it was here yesterday.”

Again (and again) we return to Where The Cheese Once Was. We refuse to listen to the evidence: the cheese has been moved.

And, instead of seeking it elsewhere (a la rodents) we blame and butt-cover and finger-point.

“Who the heck moved my cheese…what gave THEM the right to move my cheese? It was MY cheese…!!!”

We faff about.

We deny, make drama and excuses instead of looking elsewhere for our brie.

And stay stuck.

True or true, ladies?!

When we return to the same spot expecting to find the cheese (which we learned yesterday was moved) is being a little, well….insane.

Doing the same thing, again and again, and expecting a different result is pretty silly behaviour, don’t you think?

We get cross and tell ourselves the “The brie’s gone for good”, “It’s not meant to be for me” or “It’s all too difficult”.

You’ve got to start looking elsewhere for your cheese, honey.

It might not be in the second place you look (or even the third), but you KNOW where it isn’t, so stop looking there!

I often hear clients say, “I’ve always been like that” or “That’s just not me”.

By saying those kinds of things they’re placing limits on ever becoming their happy weight.

They’re limiting their capacity for change. Lots of clients desire change, but not if it means THEY have to change.

For YOU to become your happy weight, YOU will need to make changes.

If you want to begin producing different results in any area of your life, you need to stretch your comfort zone, do something different and look elsewhere for your cheese.

Love etc, Avril