Archives October 2012

“When I’ve lost weight, I’ll go on holiday.”

“When I’ve lost weight, I’ll be more confident and speak my mind.”

“When I’ve lost weight, I’ll feel sexy and invite that cute boy out for coffee.”

Sound familiar?

“When I’ve lost weight, I’ll: buy that little black dress…go to my school reunion…have the courage to ask for that promotion…have the energy to play with my grandchildren….go to the beach… leave the lights on …. quit hiding from cameras… sign up for salsa lessons.”

I’ve heard all of these comments from clients.

What about you honey?

How often do you think you need to ‘weigh less’ so you can ‘live more’?

You’re in good company. Most of us women do.

Sadly, we lose vast swathes of our lives ‘waiting on the weight’, forgetful of the fact that we can’t recycle time.

We put our heart’s desires on hold until “I’m slimmer”. Or, “Until I feel more confident”.

We wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

While we wait, we get bored, stressed, frustrated.

And, what do we do when we’re bored, stressed and frustrated?

That’s right, we eat. And, it’s not salad that we snack on…

All that boredom munching does nothing to help you fit into that little black dress or turning up to salsa lessons.

Vicious cycle for staying stuck

You can see that trying to weigh less so you can live more is the perfect way to stay stuck. Stuck in a body and life you hate.

Consider this.

What if you stopped waiting on the weight?

What if you decided that you don’t need to be slim to ask for that promotion, attend your school reunion, spice things up in the bedroom or the beach, rock a little black dress salsa-ing the night away… hopefully with the cute-y?

All of a sudden your life is full, your soul is nourished and you don’t need to full your mouth with food to get that dose of pleasure.

You wake up every morning and you look forward to getting out of bed because your life is a B.L.A.S.T. You’re replete without reaching for your fork.

After a while, you notice that you can fit that little black number – all without going on a restrictive diet.

Can you see this is the only way to lose weight?

Here’s how…

1. Think of one thing you stop yourself from doing because you’re ‘waiting on the weight’.

2. Now ask yourself, “If I were at my happy weight, what would I do?”

3. From that place of confidence, picture yourself doing what you want to do. It’ll be scary – that’s normal. If you feel afraid, ask yourself, “Is it really scary or is it just different?”

4. Practice makes perfect. Be committed and rehearse that scene in your mind. If this is difficult at first, that’s okay. Take your time and set the intention to reduce the power your weight has over your decisions.

Use this technique to plant in your mind the inner seeds of success. Repeat it daily until taking action, living passionately and in-the-present, is your new normal.

Love etc, Avril

PS: Frequently, when we want to shed weight, we focus only on nutrition and exercise. Clearly, they’re vital factors but there is a third pillar – your mind. If your mind isn’t in the right place, no amount of diet and exercise will help, because you’ll self-sabotage. If you think you need a hand sorting your mindset, let’s talk.

What’s the # 1 reason why you’re not currently your happy weight?

Deep down, really deep down, you already know the answer.

You also know what you need to do about it … because … you are the expert on you.

Less talk. More action.

Now, go and do one thing that’ll move you closer to your happy weight.

Tomorrow, do it again.

That’s it.

Now.

Off you pop.

Go liberate your inner awesome-ness.

Love etc, Avril

PS: We all need a helping hand from time to time. Sometimes being the expert on you is realising your limits. If it’s dawning on you that being your happy weight is something you need help with, c’mon over. Because when your head is sorted, the number on the scale takes care of itself.

“Oh man, I ate soooo much crap today. Why do I have no will power?”

“What a lazy cow I am. Why’d I skip my walk?”

“I have no self control. I’ve demolished a packet of chips. Again.”

How often do you ask yourself the above, while hanging your head in shame?

Those of us on the weight loss path have many, many tiny moments of temptation.

And, boy oh boy, do we berate ourselves when we fall for temptation, when we’re “bad.”

We then escalate our ‘badness’ by allowing that one tiny moment of weakness to derail us, with subsequent poor food choices, all because “Oh well, it’s too late now.”

True or true?!

Today you’re going to learn a powerful mind trick to put a stop this behaviour so you can continue on the path towards your happy weight.

It’s called the “Build a Bridge” rule. It’s your mental ally in weight loss.

Ditch perfection, aim for progress

If you’re on the weight loss path, you will hit speed bumps along the way.

We’re all works in progress. We all make mistakes. They’re obligatory! The path to your happy weight isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress.

Losing weight is about setting goals, learning from your ‘fails’ and keeping-on keeping-on.

There’s NO room for shame, guilt-trips or beating yourself up. They serve only to distract and keep you stuck.

The Build a Bridge rule in action

“I ate sooooo much crap today. Why do I have no willpower?”
Build a bridge, sweetheart, get the heck over it! Eat reckless amounts of vegetables for the rest of the day. Deal? Deal.

“What a lazy cow. Why’d I skip my morning walk?”
Build a bridge, move on! Go outside and walk. Like, right now.

“I have no self control. I’ve demolished a packet of chips. Again.”
Yup, you’re getting the pattern now. ..Build a bridge, face forward! Remove further temptation by tossing the packet of chips this instant, brush your teeth, and move on.

The truth

One less-than-ideal choice of meal, one skipped workout, or one day of overeating doesn’t undo weeks of healthy eating. It’s physically impossible. You’d explode before you got to that point!

However, that less-than-ideal choice of meal or missed workout can mentally undo weeks of hard work……. if you let it.

So don’t!

Do this instead….

Draw a line in the sand, build a bridge + focus forward

When you skip one workout, commit to making the next one the most important of your life. We all know how one missed day becomes two, which can become a week, which can effortlessly become a month. Nip it in the bud by committing now to never missing two workouts in a row.

When you’ve had a day of overeating, the next several meals need to be impeccable. For example, eating wreckless amounts of vegetables draws a mental line in the sand between you and the overeating, getting you back to good.

So, when you have a bad moment – build a bridge and get over it.

What you did five minutes ago is done and cannot be changed. What you do five minutes from now, however, is completely up to you.

You are not your past. Whatever poor decisions you’ve made up until now are off the table – the only thing that matters from this point on is how you move forward, starting now.

Create not fate

Your state of health isn’t set in stone, it’s yours to create.

Stop berating yourself for mistakes. Stop comparing yourself to those around you. Stop overcomplicating it.

Quietly, patiently and consistently build bridges over every hurdle, and rejoice as you move towards your happy weight.

Off you pop.

Start.

Right this instant.

Love etc, Avril

PS: If you think you could benefit from a little hand holding building your bridge over life’s daily challenges then weight loss hypnotherapy might be exactly what you’re looking for. Because when your head is sorted, the number on the scale takes care of itself.