Archives 2012

According to a recent survey by Timex, most women fib about what they eat.

Apparently we tell porkpies to ourselves – and other people – nine times on average per day.

Read that again, it’s important…. nine times per day we fib about what we eat.

Wow.

That’s a lot of fibs, tall stories and porky pies.

According to the survey, the foods most likely to prompt a tall story were chocolate, biscuits, cake, wine, cheese, and bread.

Let’s get something clear.

Pretending you had only one glass of red last night, when in reality you had one glass + three “little top ups” – is not big, not clever.

Same goes for ice cream. One bowl of ice cream + standing next to the freezer, spoon in hand for 15 minutes, does not equal ‘one bowl’.

It’s pure delusion. Bit like sucking in your tummy when you step on the scale (go on admit it, you do, don’t you!)

Fibbing, delusion, denial are very effective FAILURE strategies for weight loss.

I’m not for a second saying there’s anything wrong with drinking more than one glass of your favourite pinot.

Nor is there anything intrinsically wrong with enjoying more than one bowl of ice cream – just be honest, is all.

But remember this always: your body keeps an accurate measure regardless of what you admit to in your food log.

The most common fibs

Here are the most common fibs from the survey. Which ones do you tell yourself? Maybe you’re fluent with all of them, or, perhaps you have one of these on high repetition?

Either way, you need to become aware of the fibs you tell yourself, before you’ll ever become your happy weight.

Here they are:

“It was only a small portion.”

“I only treat myself once in a while.”

“I always eat my fruits and vegetables.”

“I didn’t have any of the biscuits.”

“I had only one glass.”

“I didn’t eat the last one.”

“I won’t eat again today after this.”

“I might as well polish them off now or they’ll go to waste.”

How to quit fibbing to yourself

If you’re fluent in any (or all) or the above – celebrate.

Sounds strange, but at least now you’re aware of your fibbing pattern, so you can change it. (You can’t change something that you’re unaware of).

Here’s a super effective cure for quitting fibbing (or any habit you no longer want: swearing, obsessing over negative thoughts, nose picking….ANY habit).

Step 1. Find yourself a rubber band and wear it loosely around your wrist (not so tight it cuts your circulation). Every time you notice yourself fib, flick yourself with the band.

It’ll sting. That’s a good thing. Do this persistently and over time you’ll neurologically link pain to fibbing, so you’ll stop it.

Step 2 is around error correction. It’s about replacing the fib with the truth. It’s about being accurate and honest.

For example, if you’re tempted to write in your food log three biscuits, when in reality, you had three biscuits + all the broken pieces and crumbs at the bottom of the packet + the remains of five biscuits your children left on their plates – then, say that.

In a nutshell, whenever you notice yourself formulating a fib: flick the rubber band, and replace the fib with accuracy and honesty.

So let us know how you get on. I’d love to hear specifically:

What do you fib about when it comes to food? How did you stop fibbing? Do you have lessons learned that can help us all?

Remember to share your insight and stories from a place of love and compassion. Nobody’s perfect and we’re all on this journey together.

As always, thank you for reading and sharing.

Honest love etc, Avril

Do you have a friend who’s as skinny as a rake and she eats whatever she wants?

Yet you need only glance at the confectionery aisle for the pounds to pile on?

Confusing, isn’t it?!

Well, dear reader, that exact situation featured recently on the BBC show The Truth About Food.

It featured best friends Jo and Becky. They shared similar eating and exercise habits, and were of similar age.

However, Jo was 10kgs heavier than her happy weight, while Becky was 10kgs lighter than hers.

The friends were desperate to learn the cause of the weight disparity, since Jo, “hardly eats anything”, and Becky “eats whatever she wants – chocolate, crisps and biscuits – and, doesn’t put on an ounce.”

Hmmm…

What does account for the weight difference?

As part of the experiment, the women drink something called doubly-labelled water.

It’s very clever stuff.

Long story short, it allows the researchers to spy on the girls and track every single calorie they eat – by testing their pee.

It meant that no matter what the women said they were eating, the clever double-labelled water revealed the truth – what was really passing their lips.

It’s in the water…

The tests revealed that Jo – remember, she’s the one who “hardly eats anything” and is 10kgs overweight – was eating 50% more per day than her slimmer friend.

Her face said it all.

You could have pushed her over with a feather, such was her conviction that she ate less than her friend.

Just so we’re clear here.

Jo wasn’t intentionally telling porkpies in her food diary.

She’d simply gotten caught in the tremendously insidious trap of D.E.N.I.A.L.

What is denial?

The dictionary defines it:

‘a defence mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.’

We all use denial from time to time.

It can be lifesaving.

For example, if your reality is grim, and the only way to survive is by blocking it out (say, you’re a prisoner of war), then denial’s a good thing.

For weight loss though – denial’s terrible.

It’s probably the no. # 1 reason for failure of people who claim they want to lose weight, but don’t.

If you’re in denial, you’re fibbing to yourself. You’re hiding the truth.

Harsh, I know.

But I’d be doing you a disservice if I sugar-coated.

When you fib to yourself about what you eat you’re being an ostrich. You can bury your head in the sand all day long, but you cannot hide from the truth.

The liberating truth is this: if you’re overweight, then you’re eating more than your body is using.

End of story.

I’ll admit it can feel real scary to ditch the shield of denial… especially if you’ve been sheltering behind it for years.

But until you ‘fess up’ to yourself about your eating, and get real and honest, you’re not going to lose the weight.

Tips for ditching the denial so you can ditch the weight

In general I’m not a calorie counter or food logger. I’m more a listen to your tummy kinda gal.

However, it can be pretty darn illuminating to track everything you eat for a week. If you’re real serious about losing weight, go for a month.

If you’re 100% honest, you’ll see that there is a direct and clear correlation between your weight and your incoming calories.

It’s simple maths.

Clearly you’ve got to be scrupulously honest and record every bite – NOT just the “good” days.

And, ladies….

…a glass of wine is NOT the entire bottle.

…food from your children’s plates DO contain calories.

…a biscuit is ONE biscuit, not the whole packet.

You get the idea.

I know I’m banging on about this…it’s because I personally know how cunning our minds can be in keeping stuff from ourselves!

And, it’s only through taking an honest look at what you eat that you can see what needs to change.

So dear readers, are you ready to get honest with yourself and what you eat? Or do I need to pay you a visit with my double-labelled water and pull your head out of the sand?!

Un-deniable love etc, Avril

Today’s video may surprise you.

Beverley was pushing 50 and had spent her entire life overweight.

Imagine that. Her entire life.

In this 15-minute video you’ll see how she drops over half her body weight.

More important than the drop in dress size, though, is her new-found joy and freedom.

She positively sparkles.

So the question is…

What could empower a 350 pound “chronically obese” grandmother to shed 230 pounds -from a size 28 dress to a size 8 – without invasive surgery or magic pills?

Watch and learn, and be very, very inspired.

Love etc, Avril

PS: If you’d like some of Beverley’s transformation for yourself, enter your email in the top right corner (of Tony’s page) and you’ll get access to the entire intervention + all the How To’s, so you can do this at home.

It’s one of the most common questions from weight loss clients.

If you asked a bunch of fitness gurus you’d get answers ranging from “Everyday” to “You’ve got scales? Biff ‘em out the window!”

What’s a girl to do?!

Here’s a look at the Pros + Cons of weighing-in so you can choose what works best for you.

Little Miss Everyday

At first glance, weighing yourself daily seems like a good idea. Immediate feedback, you can see whether you’re on track or not, catch trouble early and correct it.

And, according to the National Weight Control Registry, 44% of their members who have lost 15kgs, and kept it off for more than a year, weigh themselves daily.

So, some compelling evidence for the daily weigh-in.

But…and it’s a big but…. you need to ask yourself “Can I handle whatever it is the scale has to say?”

I ask this because many clients admit they use the number on the scales as a way to self-sabotage.

For example, you’ll have noticed your weight fluctuates from day to day, irrespective of what you’ve eaten or how you’ve exercised.

As women – depending on the time of the month – we can effortlessly fluctuate a kilo or three with fluid retention alone.

Even though logically we know it’s physically impossible to gain a couple of kilos in a single day, seeing the daily fluctuation will make most women feel flat and too disheartening to handle.

We already know how easy it is to skip a workout or be tempted by the second serve of chips when you’re feeling flat or disheartened.

Another trap of weighing yourself every day is that it can become a measure of your self-esteem.

We’ve all been there.

We get that it’s JUST A NUMBER.

We also know how easy it is to have a “Whoop whoop, I so totally rock” day, (or, its nemesis, the “I so totally suck,” day), based purely on the where the needle sits at the morning weigh-in.

Little Miss Weekly

Weekly weigh-ins tend to be more motivating because you don’t see the daily (and completely normal) fluctuations.

Instead you’d see a weekly trend without being overwhelmed by daily information.

If you do decide to weigh yourself – daily or weekly – do it at the same time of the day and/or day of the week.

Remember that clothes do make a difference, so your birthday suit is best.

Also, weigh yourself before working out to get a more accurate picture. I’ve personally, ahem, ‘lost’ three kilos after a full-on work-out on a hot day. (It’s just fluid loss, darling).

And, remember, if you’re working out and eating well, but the scale jumps up, it’s probably fluid retention.

Focus on the overall downward trend, and if you plateau, keep on trucking.

Finally, keep in mind the scale is just one measurement tool. It’s no Holy Grail of your progress.

Little Miss Biff ‘em

Personally, I find the scales cause an unnecessary preoccupation with weight loss rather than the real prize.

The real prize is you feeling and looking fabulous, you bursting with energy, you being healthy.

Embarrassingly healthy.

Robustly healthy.

Deservedly healthy.

That’s the ultimate. I’m yet to come across a pair of scales that can accurately capture progress towards that goal.

For example, if you’re changing your habits (working out and eating well), you’ll get leaner, sometimes without getting lighter. The scales simply don’t have the skills to communicate this to you.

Instead, I suggest you track your progress by paying attention to the fit of your clothes or rings, and start noticing the new levels of energy and confidence you’re feeling in your body.

Remember there’s no right or wrong way. I’ve clients who’re (now) at their happy weight and weigh-in daily. Others have biffed the scales and enjoy the freedom of never weighing in.

So, honey, what are you going to do?

Now you know the Pros + Cons. You can benefit from the former, keep in mind the latter, and chose what’s right for you.

Be brave and share with us where you are on the scales issue. Do you weigh yourself every day, every week, or have you thrown the scales out? What measures do you rely on to track your progress and keep you accountable?

Love etc, Avril

PS: And remember darling, you’re so more than a number on a scale.

Now that my book is out (you can get your very own copy here), it occurs to me that writing a book and losing weight have surprising similarities.

1. Itsy-bitsy steps, over time, add up

There were many times I felt intimidated by the idea of writing a book. Initially, every time I sat down to write, I’d feel overwhelmed by how much I had to do.

Up I’d get, and go do something else. Anything else but write.

Finally, I scribbled this note on a post-it note on my screen, “Darling, just one page per day and you’ll have a 365-page book.”

What a perspective shifter.

Suddenly, the overwhelm vanished and I felt more in control. I no longer had to write a book. I just needed to write a few words. Every day.

That’s it.

That’s all.

That’s enough.

You’ll see many parallels with weight loss. If you set a goal to lose, say, 50kgs, you’ll overwhelm yourself all the way back to the baked goods section or confectionary aisle.

But, if you set sub-goals of losing a few kilos at a time, you make it much easier.

Watch as those itsy-bitsy steps – over time – add up to significant weight loss.

2. Writer’s block + the weight loss plateaus

I started the writing bubbling with anticipation. Chapters 1 through 3 flowed easily. “Writing’s a doddle,” I thought to myself. Prematurely, it turns out.

Because midway into Chapter 4, and wham-o. “Hello, writer’s block”. I had to dredge for every syllable, every full stop.

I nearly gave up. I collapsed in a “Anyone else can do this, but NOT ME” pile of self-pity.

After I’d simmered down, I recalled what I teach clients when dealing with plateaus and took some of my own medicine.

Whenever you climb a flight of stairs, there’s a landing. On the landing you level out for a bit, then, off you go again, up another flight to the next landing.

Everyone plateaus – E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E (this includes you). Accept them as part of the process.

3. Embrace the process

Initially I was fixated on releasing the book for the 1st of March. This meant a busy January, rushed February and hectic March: writing, formatting, editing, proofing.

In retrospect, I don’t know what the hurry was. Why the deadline?

The biggest irony is that when a client comes to me wanting to lose a specific amount by a specific deadline, I’ll say, “Sorry, honey, I can’t help you”.

Why?

Because, these deadlines only set you up for weight loss failure.

I encourage clients to focus on health and wellbeing and embrace the process. By doing this they become someone who manages their weight easily.

It requires a shift in perspective – from the short to the long term. With a long term perspective, it’ll be the last time you ever need to lose weight.

A deadline ruins everything. It keeps you focused on the short term, which is why we become susceptible to ‘miracle’ diets and quick fixes, instead of making a change – for life.

Similarly, because of my deadline, I felt frazzled. But when I forgot about the end result and embraced the process, I really started to enjoy the journey.

4. Some things take time.

From the time I finished writing, until the book was available online, felt like an eternity.

When you’re losing weight it’s universal to feel like the weight isn’t coming off fast enough.

In the midst of these doubts your mind plays tricks on you, you might consider giving up or trying something completely different.

Everyone goes through this.

The best way to deal with it is to be patient. Relentlessly patient.

Some things just take time. Losing weight is definitely one of those things.

And, that needs to be OK.

Love etc, Avril

P.S. If you got value out of this post today, please share it with the close friends in your life and your friends on FB or Twitter.

And PLEASE leave a comment down below with your thoughts, feedback, or any stories you’d like to share! Thank you so much! I appreciate you : )