Archives January 2014

It’s almost February and you know what that means.

Yup.

If you’re anything like the majority of good folk, your weight loss resolution is starting to get…. well, um…. a wee bit wobbly.

Maybe there’s been drama at work draining you of your energy. Perhaps getting the children to school has become a distraction. Maybe you’re feeling your own personal internal resistance to change.

Depressing, right?

Actually, no.

It is at this precise point – the wobbly point – that you have the most to gain.

When the wobbles strike, there really are only two options:

1.) You could choose beat yourself up.

An ultimately unhelpful but very common choice. You might beat yourself up for “not doing this perfectly”.

Or, beat yourself up by comparing yourself to others, i.e. your besty who “lost soooooo much more weight quicker, faster, better than me……….!!!”

(There are many flavours of beating ourselves up – drama, excuses, finger-pointing – but they all serve to sabotage our progress.)

2.) Or, you could simply observe the wobble, then put on your big girl knickers and patiently keep-on-keeping-on.

As in, when the wobbly part hits, you own your stuff, ditch your excuses, and have fun with the whole darn thing. But most importantly – you keep-on-keeping-on.

If you choose option 2 – repeatedly – then you are truly on the way to igniting your thinner sparkle.

Here’s how to put on your big girl knickers and keep-on-keeping-on ……..even when it feels wobbly:

Accept in your mind that you WILL stumble

What?!

Seriously. It’s important to know from the outset that at some point in your journey you’re going stumble. You’ll feel wobbly. Uncertain. Scared. You will!

Like, you’ll eat more than your body needs.

Or, you’ll plateau.

Or, you’ll scoff some sugar or KFC or break some promise that you made to yourself.

It’s inevitable. It’s all part of the journey. And it’s OK.

The secret to your ultimate weight loss is directly dependent on how quickly you get back on track wearing those big girl knickers!

It isn’t the wobble that’s the issue. The issue is the perfectionist thinking behind the wobble.

It’s the, “Oh heavens, I really blew it by eating a biscuit….I may as well eat the whole packet and give up because I’m suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a failure….!!!!”

Or, the “oh boooooooooooooy, the number on the scale has been the same for, like, foreeeeever – I so suck at this.”

You just gotta accept the wobbles.
You need to embrace the stumbles.
You’ve gotta allow the plateaus.

They are natural stages in any weight loss journey. And this journey to your happy weight is all about learning to deal with adversity, setbacks, and surprises.

But, what if I really crash and burn?

So, for those of you who are right now worrying about the big question, “What if I go past the wobble stage and really crash and burn?”

The answer is, you will.ago

A better question might be, “after I crash and burn, then what?”

Remember, we’re all going to lose our balance from time to time. The game is to keep putting on your big girl knickers, staying out of excuses-ville, and seeing it as part of the journey.

Then…..take the next small action that leads you closer to your goal.

Again and again. And again. Wearing those big girl knickers.

Love etc, Avril

PS: Just imagine how incredible you will feel to be waking up on January 1st, 2015, knowing you kept-on-keeping-on for an entire year…and how great would it feel knowing those big girl knickers are a significantly smaller size?!

If you feel like you need help keeping-on-keeping-on, c’mon over and let’s have a chat.

About a fortnight ago, a bunch of brave women – maybe even gorgeous you – resolved to make changes to their weight.

If you’re one of the 8% who are still “hanging in there” with your resolution ….rock on sista, you’re 100% pure awesomeness!

But today I’m talking to people like me – those of us who really suck at NY’s resolutions!

Now, I know a lot of terrific health professionals who absolutely rave about the “resolutions” process.

“Pick a great big hairy audacious goal,” they say, “take massive action,” they say, “and goooooo for it at all costs”.

Hmmmmm.

In my personal and clinical experience, this kind of lofty thinking can be intimidating. Or, it works, as in you achieve your goal, but the process itself is completely joyless. (Especially, the ‘at all costs’ part.)

Yup, there’s always going to be the working-full-time mum-of-four who’ll lose 25kgs and run her first marathon by Easter. She’s clearly awesome but she’s not ‘most of us’.

Most of us have fallen off the wagon by mid January. We’re sitting on the sofa scoffing Christmas treats, feeling like we’ve failed ourselves for the year.

True or true?!

But hey! It’s not the time to give up. Your dreams are important to you. It’s time to put on our big girl knickers and get it on. But this time, we’ve got a do-able, achievable plan of action that’s perfect for you.

Instead of the great-big-hairy-audacious-type NY’s resolution, here’s what I recommend instead.

Take that big dream, but make the daily actions T.I.N.Y.

Make your goal so small that you cannot help but hit the target. Then, take the teeny-weeny-est step possible that moves you in the direction of your target.

So, instead of “resolving” to lose a 50kgs by March” or “I will run for 12kms every day no matter what”, decide to shift one kilo. Just-the-one-kilo.

Focus on changing one small aspect of your day that will lead to you shifting that 1kg. Maybe it’s taking a 5-minute walk after dinner 5 times a week. Perhaps it’s sitting at the table and/or turning off the telly when you eat so you can be more mindful of your food. Pick one small thing to focus on at a time.

Then, when you’ve shifted that kilo, celebrate – perhaps a haircut or a massage – and decide to lose one more kg. After that one’s lost, go get a manicure, and commit to shifting one more kilo and changing one more habit.

Before you know it, you’ve dropped a knicker size and you’re positively glowing from all the celebratory self care! Now you’re on a roll.

And even better than the thinner thighs is the growing belief in yourself. You can do this. You are doing this! Easily, patiently, gracefully.

Abandon the ‘perfectionist’ in you (she’s only weighing you down)

Do you see what we’re doing here? We’re rethinking how we set goals. We’re abandoning that “all or nothing perfectionist” thinking. That “unless I eat ‘perfectly’, then I totally suck” mentality.

We’re rebuilding our trust in ourselves. We’re gathering momentum. We’re setting ourselves up for success (rather than guaranteed failure).

Perfection is a total lie. It’s a lie that keeps us stuck, frustrated and unhappy.

Forget about perfection and make your daily mantra, “Approximately perfect”. It’s about taking the next small imperfect step that takes you closer to your dream.

Or, as one of my mentors says, “Once you’ve decided to take baby steps towards your dreams, falling off the wagon is immaterial. Because the wagon is moving so slowly you can just hop right back on!!!”

And keep on keeping on. One day, one breath, one decision at a time.

I’m going through my own baby steps process right now. In another life, I used to run marathons. But for the last year my trainers have gathered dust in the garage.

Recently I’ve felt the desire to re-kindle my fitness. Although it’s very tempting to “go hard”, I’ve set my daily sights low. Laughably low. Infintesibly low. So low, that I cannot help but achieve my daily target, almost without even trying.

So, for the past three weeks I’ve run (fast-walked!) three times a week for five minutes. Yes, there’s that impatient-perfectionist-critical voice in my head that says “Geez Avril, come the #%*$ on, you’ll never be ‘marathon fit’ at this snail’s pace”.

But I will.

You see, I’m starting where I am now, with what I’ve got now. I’m meeting myself where I’m at. This is not about how far I used to run. Nor is it about how far other people can run. Because this is not a competition to win, it’s not a race with some other person – it’s my journey.

It’s about meeting myself where I currently am. And trusting this truth: from small acorns, large oaks grow.

I know that by putting my running shoes on – even if only for five minutes – I have begun the journey of falling in love with the process of change.

I’m gathering momentum.
I’m making progress.
I’m learning to trust myself.

You see, becoming the shape and size you want to be is ALL about progress…..not perfection.

And when we check in with each other at the start of next year, our lives are going to look a whole lot different than they do today. I’ll be marathon fit, and you – you’ll have made your big dream a reality.

And, most importantly, we’ll have enjoyed the process.

So, if you’re a wagon-faller-offer but you’ve decided that you do want to make important changes in your life, aim for approximately-perfect-baby steps. One decision, one step, one breath at a time.

You can do this honey.

Love etc, Avril

PS: How’s your NY’s resolution travelling darling? Lasting change can be challenging – I get that. If you’re struggling and you’re ready make your dream real in 2014, perhaps hypnotherapy is the way forward for you. Why not c’mon over and let’s see where you’re at?