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“Several years ago I dieted and lost a lot of weight. But after a stressful house move, child number two and a work restructure, I’ve put all the weight back on. I’m devastated.
Every morning I demand of myself, “Today I’ll eat sensibly.”
But by evening, I get the urge to binge on biscuits, cake and chocolate.
It’s like there’s two parts living in me—the sensible one and the rebelling one!
How can I commit only to the part of me that wants to eat sensibly?”
Firstly, thank you, gorgeous new subscriber, for the question.
Secondly, I feel your frustration.
The scenario you’ve described is precisely why so many of us women struggle with being our happy shape and size long term.
It’s like an inner tug of war, the two sides: Team Deprivation versus Team Binge.
Which team are you giving your power to?
What I suggest you do is stop giving your power to Team Deprivation. You can do this by changing your inner talk.
While your morning affirmation—”today I’ll eat sensibly”—sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to say.
It works against you because you start to feel deprived.
For example, when you demand “I’m not allowed to eat those ‘bad’ foods”, your rebelling inner three-year-old-self comes out to play.
“You’re not the boss of me!” she claims, stamping her foot. “You can’t tell me what to do!”
Giving ourselves strict rules around what we can and can’t eat, a ‘good food‘ or a ‘bad food‘, creates a feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out).
Deprivation—the enemy of weight loss
These strict rules and deprivation make us feel miserable and sorry for ourselves.
Sadly, it also increases cravings, and then at some point—because you’ve felt deprived all day—you give in to the tantruming inner child.
Boooooooooooom! Team Binge wins.
Let go of the ‘I’m not allowed’ thoughts about being ‘good’ or being ‘sensible’.
Instead, be gentle, playful and less rigid.
Ask your wise body:
“What do I need to eat today to feel nourished, supported and healthy?”
When you eliminate the strict rules from your day, you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to be satisfied on smaller and smaller amounts of food.
The rebellious inner-child that resides in us all, is content, peaceful and happy.
Love etc,
PS: If you’re locked into a tug of war between your extreme rebel side and your extreme sensible side, hypnotherapy can help you take a more moderate peaceful path that you were born knowing.
If you’d like to remember how to tune in to your body’s innate wisdom and make peace with food, c’mon over so you can become your happy shape and size.