“You want me to what?!” she cried.
“You know it’s time. You’ve been talking about it for weeks…you’re ready to deal with it.”
I’d met Lisa several months ago. Since then, she’d shed 15kgs.
To her credit, she’d nailed some unhelpful habits, and the step by step changes she’d created were rapidly gaining momentum.
Her home – and the hoarded mess housed within – was her next challenge.
I encouraged her to give away anything she no longer absolutely loved, with two rules of thumb:
- If you absolutely love it, keep it. If you don’t, the charity shop wins (and you give someone else the chance to love it).
- If in doubt, chuck it out.
Her homework was 15 minutes a day.
One drawer at a time.
Building momentum as she went.
Beware the excuses
Some of the excuses that came up included:
- But I spent half my bonus on it and I might need it someday!
- It was a gift from my favourite Gran…I’ve got to keep it, don’t I?
- Sure, I never use it but it was such a bargain!
The Fat Me Clothes Box
Lisa’s de-cluttering almost de-railed when she came across her box of Fat Me clothes.
The box was bursting with elasticised-trousers, stretchy tops and baggy jumpers that she’d taken refuge under when she was heavier.
Because she’d dropped three dress-sizes, she no longer fitted these outfits. And with her increasing confidence, her tastes had changed – she’d begun to cherish tailored cuts.
“So, Lisa,” I asked. “For what purpose would you want to keep this box?”
She was embarrassed, but honest.
“Well, if I fail to keep the weight off, I might wish I had kept these clothes.”
“So, you’d be overweight and p*ssed off with yourself…but at least you’ll have those elastic-waisted tracky pants?”
Sharp intake of breath.
She laughed as the penny dropped.
In essence, what she was saying to her unconscious mind was “I believe so deeply in my own failure that I’m holding onto physical things that represent that possibility.
My unconscious mind knows that in box of fat clothes, there are items that prove I don’t believe in my own success.”
When I next saw her, she’d made the trip to the charity shop. She beamed.
“Saying goodbye to my Fat Box was terrifying, but liberating! It was like announcing to myself and the world, I AM DOING THIS.”
She’d never backed herself in such a solid way before.
Clearly, there’s more to weight loss than tossing old outfits. But it’s vital to pay attention to message we’re unconsciously telling ourselves.
Hoarding and clutter is a symptom of something else – often a need to control. Deep down, we’re saying, “I don’t believe in myself” or “what if I can’t survive without it?”
It’s doubly-hard to lose weight (make money, be happy, whatever your goal is) if you’re sending those kinds of fear-based messages to your unconscious mind.
Now you, dear reader.
What are you telling your unconscious mind? What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Is it time you had your own de-clutter session?
I propose we go one step further – are you ready to…
De-clutter your mind?
Cast off that nagging voice that says you’re not good enough… clear away those excuses that keep you stuck … purge any negative habits that prevent you being the healthiest and happiest version of you.
Clear out the nooks and crannies of your house and mind.
Pick one drawer to work on today.
And let it go.
Uncluttered love, Avril