The Perfectionist’s Guide to Weight Loss, Getting Stuff Done + Life in General

“Stop complicating the sh*t out of everything,” he said, matter-of-factly.

Not for the first time, my brother’s simple logic nudged me in the butt.

It left a bruise.

See, I have this thing.

There’s a good chance you have it too.

It’s a nasty little mind-virus. It can steal your energy, rob you of your courage and cause low-grade depression.

Perfectionism is its name.

It is b.r.u.t.a.l.

I meet countless women who unwittingly prevent themselves from losing weight (or living a happy life) because of this need to “do it perfectly”.

For example, when a perfectionist has one biscuit, the mind-virus screams,

“You’ve totally blown it now, you may as well scoff the entire packet… eat everything in the pantry, why don’t you….you’re no longer perfect, right?”

Perfectionists tend to overanalyse, second-guess and complicate everything, which results in them forgetting to do the very thing they need to do to lose weight…

…..as in, DO something.

If you’re a perfectionist, you know the heavy truth. Another year passes. You’re still overweight.

It gives me great pleasure to share with you ….recovery is possible.

“My name is Avril, I’m a recovering perfectionist…. hello everyone.”

That’s the first step: awareness. Until you acknowledge a behaviour  - and it is something you are doing – you can’t treat it.

When you’re aware of the sneaky mind-virus you can start treatment.

Prescription for Little Miss Perfects

Replace perfectionism with imperfectionism. That’s it…become a Little Miss Imperfect and make progress – not perfection – your new target. It’ll set you free.

“How can something as simple as focusing on progress make a difference?” says the (former) perfectionist in you.

See.

There you go complicating the sh*t out of everything, again.

Stop it, sister!!!

Remember your new focus is progress (not perfection).

Progress is tangible. It’s about taking action (however much you stumble). It means always looking for the next stretch or improvement. It’s about moving closer to your target one step at a time.

6 unexpected benefits of embracing imperfection

- You finally see your inner critic for what it is…. your very own Success Prevention Expert. Ouch.

- You lower the bar. You start to live in the moment, without any judgement. Fun, freedom and joy is allowed and you actually end up doing a fabulous job. How ironic.

- You focus your attention on the process itself. You quit obsessing about the outcome. Paradoxically, you increase your chance of success because you stay in the game.

- You get things done imperfectly. You tweak and fix and repeat. You become unstoppable.

- You finally understand there are no mistakes. Feedback is what it’s all about, baby.

- Yes, you do master your craft. You do achieve your weight goals. Because you gave yourself room to practice, you’re learning and growing, and you’re still taking action.

You’re moving closer to your weight goal because you aren’t over-complicating the sh*t out of everything. Step by imperfect step.

Imperfect love, etc, Avril

PS: If you’re a perfectionist and you’re ready to embrace the slimmer, fitter, healthier you – hypnotherapy might be exactly what you’ve been looking for. Why not drop me (an imperfect) line over here….c’mon over.

Posted in Mental | Leave a comment

How Clutter Blocks E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G… from weight loss, cash flow and happ-y-ness.

She stared at me aghast.

“You want me to what?!” she cried.

“You know it’s time. You’ve been talking about it for weeks…you’re ready to deal with it.”

I’d met Lisa several months ago. Since then, she’d shed 15kgs.

To her credit, she’d nailed some unhelpful habits, and the step by step changes she’d created were rapidly gaining momentum.

Her home – and the hoarded mess housed within – was her next challenge.

I encouraged her to give away anything she no longer absolutely loved, with two rules of thumb:

  1. If you absolutely love it, keep it. If you don’t, the charity shop wins (and you give someone else the chance to love it).
  2. If in doubt, chuck it out.

Her homework was 15 minutes a day.

One drawer at a time.

Building momentum as she went.

Beware the excuses

Some of the excuses that came up included:

-         But I spent half my bonus on it and I might need it someday!
-         It was a gift from my favourite Gran…I’ve got to keep it, don’t I?
-         Sure, I never use it but it was such a bargain!

The Fat Me Clothes Box

Lisa’s de-cluttering almost de-railed when she came across her box of Fat Me clothes.

The box was bursting with elasticised-trousers, stretchy tops and baggy jumpers that she’d taken refuge under when she was heavier.

Because she’d dropped three dress-sizes, she no longer fitted these outfits. And with her increasing confidence, her tastes had changed – she’d begun to cherish tailored cuts.

“So, Lisa,” I asked. “For what purpose would you want to keep this box?”

She was embarrassed, but honest.

“Well, if I fail to keep the weight off, I might wish I had kept these clothes.”

Long pause.

“So, you’d be overweight and p*ssed off with yourself…but at least you’ll have those elastic-waisted tracky pants?”

Sharp intake of breath.

She laughed as the penny dropped.

In essence, what she was saying to her unconscious mind was “I believe so deeply in my own failure that I’m holding onto physical things that represent that possibility.

My unconscious mind knows that in box of fat clothes, there are items that prove I don’t believe in my own success.”

When I next saw her, she’d made the trip to the charity shop. She beamed.

“Saying goodbye to my Fat Box was terrifying, but liberating! It was like announcing to myself and the world, I AM DOING THIS.

She’d never backed herself in such a solid way before.

Clearly, there’s more to weight loss than tossing old outfits. But it’s vital to pay attention to message we’re unconsciously telling ourselves.

Hoarding and clutter is a symptom of something else – often a need to control. Deep down, we’re saying, “I don’t believe in myself” or “what if I can’t survive without it?”

It’s doubly-hard to lose weight (make money, be happy, whatever your goal is) if you’re sending those kinds of fear-based messages to your unconscious mind.

Now you, dear reader.

What are you telling your unconscious mind? What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Is it time you had your own de-clutter session?

I propose we go one step further – are you ready to…

De-clutter your mind?

Cast off that nagging voice that says you’re not good enough… clear away those excuses that keep you stuck … purge any negative habits that prevent you being the healthiest and happiest version of you.

Clear out the nooks and crannies of your house and mind.

Pick one drawer to work on today.

Just one.

And let it go.

Uncluttered love, Avril

PS: If you’re tired of struggling with your weight or battling with that nagging voice in your head, hypnotherapy may just be the answer you’re looking for. Why not c’mon over and have a chat….

Posted in Mental | Leave a comment

INTERVIEW: ‘Spa it Girl, Australia’ + Moi Have a Chat

Permission to NOT diet: a celebration of ditching the “Sunday Night Conversation”, putting down the beating-up-stick and learning to nurture our miraculous bodies.

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Yvette from Spa It Girl Australia, recently. The challenge was to squeeze as much non-diet weight loss goodness as humanly possible into a 15 minute space – I think we did great. We certainly had a blast.

Click on the picture below to view….

Some of the takeaways were:

  • How a common Sunday night conversation sets women up for weight loss failure (and a joyless week).
  • Letting go of the belief that deprivation is the optimum way to lose weight.
  • A very powerful technique you can use in ‘moments of overwhelm’ to immediately lead your stressed-out-self to a place of Zen.
  • PLUS: a useful nutritional tips that your Nana knew but we’ve forgotten in this fast-paced modern era.

Here’s the interview….Thank you Yvette, Spa It Girl, and thank you readers for watching.

Posted in Mental | Leave a comment