Really… it’s important.
When I ask my clients this question there are three common responses:
– skinny b*tch
– skinny cow
Yup, there is a third reaction. But since both my mum and my mum-in-law pop by this blog, I’m not going to repeat it here : )
You get the picture though.
Many of us (who are heavier than we’d like to be) use some pretty hefty discriminatory labels to describe the exact women we aspire to be.
It means that on an unconscious level we have a bunch of negative associations with being slim.
Which is a problem.
If you’ve been a reader of this blog for a while now, you’ll already know that the unconscious mind has a couple of curious quirks. These quirks can either effortlessly aid or seriously hinder your weight loss.
One of the quirks is this…
Your unconscious mind will never let you become something you dislike.
For example, if you secretly dislike skinny people, it’ll never allow you to become skinny. If you label slim women as “skinny b*tches” you’ll never lose weight.
Instead you’ll sabotage your weight loss efforts so you’re protected from becoming one (a skinny b*tch).
So it is vital to unearth any negative feelings or labels you might have associated with being your happy weight. Even if you think you don’t, if you’ve ever used words like “skinny cow” or words to this effect, then you do.
By the way, this unconscious quirk works in all areas of your life. If you dislike rich folk, you’ll always somehow blow / badly invest / be robbed of / your earnings so you never become rich.
It’s just one of the many ways in which your unconscious mind protects you. It’s simply doing its job.
Worth knowing, hey.
Follow these steps to discover what your negative associations are:
Ask yourself this question.
#1: What’s the word I would use to describe the size or shape I really want to be?” As in, slim, skinny, athletic, toned.
#2: Now, think about the words you’d automatically associate with that size or shape.
Perhaps it’s attractive, skinny, b*tch, small, weak, lucky, runty, pathetic, sporty, sexy, petite…
Keep freely associating until you run out of words.
Are there any words on this list that are negative, or words you wouldn’t want associated with your good self?
It’s OK if there is. At least now you know they’re there hidden in your unconscious so you can do something about them.
If the words are all neutral or positive, then woohoo, because that means your unconscious mind will view your desired size as a positive step.
If the associations were even slightly negative descriptive your unconscious mind will cause you to self-sabotage and you’ll resist achieving your goal.
Now do the same exercise again. This time though, associate the word in #1 with only positive words.
Even if it feels a little forced, do the exercise as it will build up a representation of how you want to be and makes you feel enthusiastic about reaching your goals.
Now, imagine yourself slim, strong, confident, healthy and elegant. And next time you see a slim woman strolling confidently down the street, smile to yourself, appreciate her style, and know that by replacing your unsupportive negative associations with inspiring positive ones you’re helping yourself on your own weight loss journey.
How’d you go with replacing the labels? Share your stories – challenges or a-has – with us.
Love etc, Avril