And, that most of these thoughts, are in the form of questions that we’re asking ourselves.
It’s like we’re having this perpetual conversation in our head.
If you’re sitting there thinking, “What? What questions? I don’t ask myself questions….do I?”
Which proves the point perfectly. Sixty-thousand thoughts per day. Round and around. Like a record player….
The slightly scary thing is most of us aren’t even aware of this conversation (or the topic being discussed) because it’s happening at an unconscious level.
So, how does this relate to weight loss?”
That’s a good question, I’m pleased you asked.
Here’s the thing.
It’s vital to know what questions you’re asking yourself because the shape of your body is directly influenced by these questions.
If you’re unhappy with your weight, there’s a very good chance that you’re asking the types of questions that preclude weight loss. In order to lose weight you need to change your questions.
One of jobs of the unconscious mind is to seek answers to your questions. Whatever question you ask, it will return an answer. It’s unconcerned with the truth of the answer – it just wants to respond to the question.
Many of the women I work with are stuck, unable to lose weight because they ask themselves low quality questions.
Basically there are two types of questions. There are the high-quality solution-oriented questions and there are the low-quality negatively-oriented questions.
It’s logical when you think about it. If you ask a high quality question, you’re more likely to get a high quality answer. And vice versa.
An example will make it all clear. Compare and contrast the following two questions.
Imagine you’re standing on the scales. For the third consecutive week the number has remained the same and you despair to yourself…
“Why o why can’t I lose weight?”
Immediately, your unconscious mind, ever ready to serve comes up with a raft of reasons why you can’t do what you perceive needs to be done.
“Because you’re a lazy bones…because you’re crap…because you don’t have the will power…because you’re a greedy guts…because, because, because…”
See what happens when you ask a low quality question?
You get a negatively-oriented response mostly centre-ing on the idea of how you’re somehow not quite good enough.
(None of this is actually true it’s just a crappy answer to a crappy question, that’s all.)
So now you feel depressed, de-motivated, and frustrated. And comfort eating and overeating is likely to occur, so you can momentarily feel better.
Here’s the alternative.
Imagine standing on the scales, third week in a row, needle hasn’t budged. Same scenario.
This time, ask a different question. A better quality question.
“How can I most easily lose weight and make it fun?”
This question is a million times better than the last scenario because is assumes three things:
– that it can work
– there’s a bunch of options that could work
– it can be fun.
Et violà, by asking a high quality question, the idea of losing weight is do-able. You feel more proactive, positive and will have the patience to take steps towards your goal.
What Not To Ask
I always remind clients of this truth, “there’s no such thing as a silly question”.
On the whole, I’d agree.
However, there are some questions are best avoided. As a general rule I’d suggest ditching any questions beginning with ‘why’. ‘Why’ questions tend to focus on the past and usually lead to you feeling down or defensive.
For example, “why did that happen to me?” can only really be answered negatively, if at all. You can spend a lifetime in therapy analysing ‘why’ something happened (or didn’t) and move no closer to an answer or a happy solution.
What To Ask
So, instead of ‘why’ questions, focus on ‘how’ or ‘what’ questions. As in, “what’s one thing I can do right now to change this?” or “how can I do this?”
Whenever you’re stuck (or the scales are) ask yourself the following possibility questions:
– How do I need to look at this so that it’s do-able?
– What is the most elegant way I can solve this now?
– How can I most easily stop doing this?
– What’s the one thing I can do right now to get me closer to my goal?
– How many different ways of solving this can I come up with now?
See how these how and what questions point your mind in a very different direction. As a result you’ll be directing your unconscious mind to sort for information that will put you in a better emotional state.
And bonus information… if you’re not happy with the answer you’re getting, ask a different question. Your unconscious mind will keep searching for you until a useful answer has been found.
So there you go. Make your 60,000 thoughts a day great ones, and ensure you’re setting yourself up for weight loss success by asking quality questions.
Love etc, Avril