“I’m Italian,” she said. “I see pasta, I eat pasta. I can’t help it!!!”
It’s a very common situation.
Client’s unhappy with her weight. She’s frustrated.
Between the lines, hidden among the grammar are clues as to why she’s carrying the ‘little bit extra’.
Behind her words is her …. story.
What do I mean by ‘story’?
Story is whatever you repeatedly tell yourself as to why you aren’t your happy weight.
It’s your opt-out clause for when the going gets tough. Or the stereo-type you default to around food.
We all have a story.
And as with all stories, some end happily. Some crappily.
If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you simply MUST identify your limiting story.
Because your story is self-fulfilling.
It dictates your behaviour.
See, if you claim, “I just can’t say no to Tiramisu,” sure as eggs are eggs, every time it’s on the menu you’ll prove yourself right, and find you “can’t say no”.
We laugh, cry, joke and bond over our stories.
They seem harmless, but given their self-fulfilling nature – they’re insidious.
The first step: what’s my story?
Here are some of the most frequently cited by clients.
“I can’t be my happy weight because…”
– I don’t have time.
– The kids (work, business, partner) come first.
– I’m a foodie.
– I’ve had children.
– I’m over 40.
– I am lazy.
– I’ve never been sporty.
– All my family is large.
– I’m big boned.
– I have the ‘fat’ gene.
– I’m an ‘all or nothing’ person.
– I have no will power.
Which of these stories resonated with you?
Lots of ‘em? You’re not alone!
Most clients have one or several (yup, you can have more than one) of these self-fulfilling, sabotage-y stories preventing them from being their happy weight.
These stories, if unheeded, completely negate weight loss and absolutely set you up for failure.
Now you’ve identified your limiting story, you need to replace it with one that serves you…one with the potential for a happy ending.
The second step: re-write your story.
Even if you’ve lived with a story all your life, you can change your story now.
Pick one story at a time, and re-write it.
When you notice yourself running your old limiting story, “Yeah well, I’m Italian – I can’t help it” (or whatever YOUR story is), as you over-indulge in another bowl of pasta…
Notice how your old story gave you permission to over indulge. And, you got to point the finger and excuse your actions, as you protested, I can’t help it!!!”
You can help it.
By changing your story.
“I’m Italian, and I love that we’re a slim, stylish and chic bunch.”
If you’re going to run with a stereotype, at least pick one that supports you feeling fabulous and being healthy.
When you change your story, your actions change.
Because – remember – your story is self-fulfilling.
The third step is practice.
Practice makes perfect.
Pick one story at a time.
Consciously re-write it.
Give yourself the opportunity of a happy ending.
Love etc, Avril