I’ve just had a weight management hypnotherapy session with a delightful lady.
She’d gained weight during her pregnancy. As much as she loved her little one, she was frustrated by her post-bub size and energy levels.
In her own words, “I’ve been trying to lose weight since my little one was born.”
Please, make a note of the word ‘trying.’
You see, ‘try’ is a deceptive, tricky term.
When we use the word ‘try,’ we feel all virtuous and warm inside because we’re on the way to achieving the thing we’re ‘trying’ to do.
But here’s the here’s the kicker—it also neatly provides us with an excuse for when we fail.
“Well… at least I tried.”
The problem with ‘trying’
Yes, we mean well.
But the message our unconscious mind receives is —”yeah, I’m kinda interested but when push comes to shove, I’m not that serious.”
Think about it.
If you need a plumber to do a job, you know instinctively whether their van will be in your driveway at the previously agreed time—just by listening to their language.
If they say, “I’ll try to there on Thursday afternoon,” good luck, dear reader, because you know it’s unlikely they’ll arrive.
When on Friday you call and ask “what happened?” there’ll be some BS reason or other.
“I tried to get there but well…this, that and the other….”
Their integrity is intact.
After all, they tried, didn’t they?!
However if your plumber says, “I’ll be there at 3pm Thursday,” you trust they’ll be at yours Thursday at 3pm. Their language has commitment in it.
It’s a subtle but powerful distinction.
So, next time you say the word ‘try’—whether it’s speaking to your partner, your child or yourself—consider replacing it with a stronger and more committed alternative.
For example, instead of “Son, go and try it” use “Son, go and think about it” or better, “go and do it, son.”
Feels much more powerful, doesn’t it? See the commitment.
Remember there is no such thing as try, you either do or you don’t.
Love etc, Avril