Archives January 2013

Wow – who can believe it’s the end of January already?

Time is flying.

These last four weeks have been super-exciting.

I’m loving working with a bunch of gorgeous women (and a couple of smart gents) who are nailing their NY’s weight loss resolutions.

Yeehaa!

Today, I thought it’d be helpful to share with you something that I notice with a lot of clients. Perhaps it can help you at home with your resolution?

Where is the fun?

Frequently, in the initial conversation with clients, what comes to light is the extreme lack of fun in the lives of these hard-working women.

They’re often workaholic perfectionists, eager to please others, and they very often put other people’s needs first, while depriving themselves.

When clients describe a typical day, frequently there’s not much in the 24 hours that they actually really, truly, deeply enjoy.

Their days mostly consist of sleeping, eating, working, looking after the children or parents, doing errands/housework and watching television.

Where’s the space for play?

Or joy?

Or fun?

They often mention “feeling trapped” or just going through the motions until “I get a new job / the kids leave home / I find prince-charming”.

Bored, bored, boooooored.

Mostly (not always, but often) these women are bored out of their minds. Unsurprisingly, food is their only joy.  There’s a very definite connection captivity and addiction.

I completely ‘get’ this. It reminds me of when I was most obsessed with food, eating (ahem, overeating) was the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel of a long day.

When I ask these good folk what stops them from fun-ing up their day, here’s what they share:

“Having fun feels like a waste of time – I should be working.”

“Having fun costs money.”

“None of my clothes fit and I don’t want to go shopping until I lose weight.”

“I hate leaving the house because I feel like everyone is judging me for being fat.”

“I feel like when I lose weight, I’ll have more confidence and then I’ll have fun.”

You can see how these women are waiting on the weight.They’re effectively putting their lives on hold until sometime later.

Until then it’s the land of not much fun.

As they wait, and wait and wait.

Here’s what I think is going on

Most of us women – irrespective of our weight, nationality, schedule, age, marital status, income – have a hard time allowing ourselves permission to create the time and space to have fun.

Especially those of us who are success-driven or family-orientated. We’re conditioned to give, give, give and provide, provide, provide.

We see ‘fun’ as a selfish waste of time and so it drops to the bottom of the To Do list.

Making it happen

Our biggest problem isn’t our wobbly tummy, our lack of time or money, our crappy job or the late night kitchen visits – our biggest problem is that we’ve stopped putting in the effort to make our lives A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

Fun is a muscle that you have to work. Every day.

Yes, it takes some serious work. But it can be seriously fun.

And, when you’re having more fun, you no longer need food to comfort or rescue you from your boredom, so you naturally lose weight.

So, the question for you

How can you create more fun in your life? What do you need to start saying ‘no’ to so you can create the space to up your fun quotient? A smattering here, a sprinkle there.

Work that fun muscle!

Love etc, Avril

PS: If you’re one of the many workaholics or busy mums who feel it’s ‘selfish to have fun’ – know this: there’s NOTHING big, clever or pretty about being a martyr.

Ironically (and delightfully), it is by adding more fun to your day and creating time to take better care of yourself that you’re better able to serve others. If you need help putting yourself first so you can better serve others in your life, perhaps we need to speak. I’m here to help…..

Did you set a weight loss resolution a few weeks ago?

Do you feel as if you’ve already let yourself down?

“I’ve sooooo blown it. I may as well give up!!!!!!”

If this is you – give the idea of failure not one more moment of your time. Not a single one. Uh-uh.

Here’s why. It’s really really great news, sweetheart.

Whatever it is you want to do – lose weight, eat well, tone-up – right now is the time to do it.

Whoever you want to be – healthy, lighter, fitter – today is the day to be her.

Whatever it is you want to feel – fabulous, confident, in control – this second is the time to feel it.

Whatever it is that frightens you from taking the step you need to take – fear of making a mistake or looking silly or making the “wrong choice” – today is the day to take a deep breath, hold a torch to the ‘monster under the bed’ and see it for the illusion it that is.

Whatever emotions stop you from moving forwards – inertia, overwhelm, stress –right now is the time to unpack them.

Whatever excuses come up for you – lack of time or lack of money or “I’m too busy looking after other people to take proper care of myself”– right now is the time to drop them (your excuses, not the other people!).

How to do the above.

Stop writing your To Do list.
Stop researching the way forward.
Stop sorting your plan.

You’ve researched, organised, sorted enough. No, really…. you have, darling.

This is that moment.
Right here, right now.
Just begin.

One step, then the next. Now.

Stop thinking. Stop planning. Stop beating yourself up. Start beginning.
Stop postponing. Stop delaying. Stop hiding. Start embracing.

Today is the day.
Now is the moment.
(Tomorrow never ever arrives. Tomorrow is always tomorrow)

Begin again

It all starts now. It always starts now.
Right now is the only moment any of us ever have. R.I.G. H. T N.O.W.
The beautiful thing is that each and every moment is another opportunity for you to begin again.

We all trip, fall, scuff our knees. Allow the scabs to form, put your big girl knickers on and start again.

And again.
And again.

What you did or didn’t do last year, last weekend or this morning – none of that actually matters. It’s gone, done, dusted. Let it go.

All that matters is what is happening now. Right now.

This breath. This thought. This choice. This action. Now.

The Q to get you started again: “Is it now?”

And, in the future, when you’re confused – maybe a bit scared and picking your scabs – wondering to yourself, “Is this the right time to start something?” come back to the moment.

Ask the question, “Is it now?”

If it is ‘now’….just begin.

Go gently.

Love etc, Avril

PS: Our habits are buried deep within our unconscious mind. If you’re struggling to start, or you start but can’t and stay on track, hypnotherapy can help. Stop waiting, start starting….

Now that we’re into the second week of January, many of us are heading back to the office.

So, let me ask you a question…

“How’d that glance go?”

You know the one. That furtive one in the full length mirror as you dashed out the door.

Did it confirm your worst fears….that your New Year’s weight loss resolution has failed, yet again?

If you told the reflection, “A few extra kilos isn’t really that bad,” you’re not alone.

According to the research, 4 out of 5 good folk have ditched their NY’s resolutions by mid-January.

Goodbye resolution. Hello frustration.

Grrrrr.

If your NY’s resolution has the wobbles…

The good news is it ain’t over.

You can get back on track. You can stay in the game. Your resolution just needs re-ignition.

Right here, right now.

Are you up for that?

Good.

All you need to remember is this:

It’s about progress not perfection

Repeat after me…..

“It’s about progress not perfection.”

Weight loss is ALL about subtle shifts which gather momentum and create radical change over time. It’s about staying in the game.

That’s it.

I know, I know… it does sound a wee bit dull. I hear you. You’re impatient for change. I get that.

You want your svelte reflection, now. You’d like your jeans to fit, right now. You want those wobbly bits gone, like yesterday.

Good on you, I love your enthusiasm!!!

And, by focusing your attention on progress – not perfection – you’ll achieve your weight loss. Promise.

The imperfections of perfection

We are sold this lofty ideal of perfection. Advertising, media, and society constantly extol the virtues of perfection. The result? We’re seduced into needing to do everything, well, perfectly.

And, if we perceive we’re ‘imperfect’, then we’ve ‘failed’.

Perfection is an illusion, and a major, major, major trip-hazard if you want to lose weight.

It’s the ‘perfect’ way to unconsciously sabotage yourself and take yourself out of the game.

For example, when a perfectionist eats one biscuit, the perfectionist monster takes over screaming, “You’ve totally blown it now, you may as well scoff the entire packet… in fact, why not eat EVERYTHING in the pantry….since you’re clearly no longer perfect, right?”

A non-food perfection example from my life

Before I hit publish every week on these blog updates, my very own perfection monster rears its not so pretty head with gems like, “Just who do you think you are helping women lose weight – it’s not like you’re perfect?!!!”

Or, “You’re no JK Rowling – how dare you pollute the ether with these words??!!!”

I think you get the picture ; )

If I allowed myself to focus on the need for perfection, I’d never have the courage to hit publish. But when I focus on progress, I feel confident enough to take the next step, whatever that is.

And so will you.

So, darling, you now know how to master the moments when the perfection monster kicks in. Simply bring your attention back to progress not perfection and stay in the game.

Re-ignite your weight loss resolution. Imperfectly. Now.

Progressive love etc, Avril

PS: Speaking as a reformed perfectionist, if you feel you might have unconscious tendencies which cause you to self-sabotage – perfectionism or procrastination, for example – and you’re ready to lose weight now, let’s talk. I’m here to help you ignite your thinner sparkle.

Happy 2013 peeps!

Let’s say you’re looking to lose some weight this year.

It’s a safe bet because according to CNN, losing weight is the #1 New Year’s resolution.

The internet is abuzz with good folk hoping, wishing, and praying that 2013 will be the year they manage to ‘lose it for good’.

Sadly, for many of these good folk, come February there’ll be that familiar feeling of frustration and a little voice saying, “see F for Fail…I told you so!!!!”

That’s because New Year’s Resolutions – as they’re usually implemented – just don’t work.

Typically, when we think about shedding that little bit extra, we think of eating better and exercising, right?

But focusing only nutrition and exercise is NOT enough.

(If it was, you’d be your happy weight by now because you’re a smart woman).

If you want to transform your body once and for all, and live in a body you love, this year can be different.

But you must, must, MUST get to the core of what’s keeping you stuck.

If you’ve struggled with losing weight previously, you must first understand that it’s your head that is preventing you from losing weight.

Only your mind stands between you and the body you covet.

It’s all in the mind

OK, so not all of it, but a significant portion of it is.

You see, your mind has the potential to make you slim, fit and healthy – but it can also do a fabulous job of sabotaging your efforts.

Even though you know consciously what you need to do to lose weight – some version of the Eat Less, Exercise More equation – it’s our unconscious mind that is running the show. Our unconscious mind is incredibly powerful.

Which of these resonate with you?

Seven signs your mind is keeping you overweight.

1. You know how to live a healthy lifestyle…. but, well….um…. you don’t do it.

2. Your actions towards a healthier lifestyle are inconsistent, or at least inconsistent for any extended length of time.

3. You have a tug of war raging within you between the part of you that wants to lose weight and the part of you that doesn’t. The ‘doesn’t’ part wins out every time as you overeat and avoid exercise.

4. It seems impossible that you could ever have a ‘normal’ relationship with food, your weight or the scales.

5. You keep doing the same unhealthy actions over and over again, but tell yourself that, “someday things will change” or “tomorrow will be different”.

6. You deny yourself professional help because you think “I should be able to figure it out on my own”, even though you know that if you could’ve, you would’ve by now.

7. You consistently search out information online and buy books / magazines on diet and exercise – but you don’t read or action the information.

The bottom line is this….

…if you are unhappy with your weight, and you’re still not taking the actions required to get the results you seek then there’s something going on in your unconscious mind which is keeping you stuck.

Hypnosis can change all of that. Drop me a line – let’s start a conversation. I’m here to help you live in a body you love this year.

Why not make this the year you do something different and get the outcome you’re after?

How great would you feel losing that extra weight, feeling strong, confident and safe in your body, and finally letting go of that old baggage that goes with it?

Let it be easy.

New year love etc, Avril