Wow – who can believe it’s the end of January already?
Time is flying.
These last four weeks have been super-exciting.
I’m loving working with a bunch of gorgeous women (and a couple of smart gents) who are nailing their NY’s weight loss resolutions.
Yeehaa!
Today, I thought it’d be helpful to share with you something that I notice with a lot of clients. Perhaps it can help you at home with your resolution?
Where is the fun?
Frequently, in the initial conversation with clients, what comes to light is the extreme lack of fun in the lives of these hard-working women.
They’re often workaholic perfectionists, eager to please others, and they very often put other people’s needs first, while depriving themselves.
When clients describe a typical day, frequently there’s not much in the 24 hours that they actually really, truly, deeply enjoy.
Their days mostly consist of sleeping, eating, working, looking after the children or parents, doing errands/housework and watching television.
Where’s the space for play?
Or joy?
Or fun?
They often mention “feeling trapped” or just going through the motions until “I get a new job / the kids leave home / I find prince-charming”.
Bored, bored, boooooored.
Mostly (not always, but often) these women are bored out of their minds. Unsurprisingly, food is their only joy. There’s a very definite connection captivity and addiction.
I completely ‘get’ this. It reminds me of when I was most obsessed with food, eating (ahem, overeating) was the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel of a long day.
When I ask these good folk what stops them from fun-ing up their day, here’s what they share:
“Having fun feels like a waste of time – I should be working.”
“Having fun costs money.”
“None of my clothes fit and I don’t want to go shopping until I lose weight.”
“I hate leaving the house because I feel like everyone is judging me for being fat.”
“I feel like when I lose weight, I’ll have more confidence and then I’ll have fun.”
You can see how these women are waiting on the weight.They’re effectively putting their lives on hold until sometime later.
Until then it’s the land of not much fun.
As they wait, and wait and wait.
Here’s what I think is going on
Most of us women – irrespective of our weight, nationality, schedule, age, marital status, income – have a hard time allowing ourselves permission to create the time and space to have fun.
Especially those of us who are success-driven or family-orientated. We’re conditioned to give, give, give and provide, provide, provide.
We see ‘fun’ as a selfish waste of time and so it drops to the bottom of the To Do list.
Making it happen
Our biggest problem isn’t our wobbly tummy, our lack of time or money, our crappy job or the late night kitchen visits – our biggest problem is that we’ve stopped putting in the effort to make our lives A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
Fun is a muscle that you have to work. Every day.
Yes, it takes some serious work. But it can be seriously fun.
And, when you’re having more fun, you no longer need food to comfort or rescue you from your boredom, so you naturally lose weight.
So, the question for you
How can you create more fun in your life? What do you need to start saying ‘no’ to so you can create the space to up your fun quotient? A smattering here, a sprinkle there.
Work that fun muscle!
Love etc, Avril
PS: If you’re one of the many workaholics or busy mums who feel it’s ‘selfish to have fun’ – know this: there’s NOTHING big, clever or pretty about being a martyr.
Ironically (and delightfully), it is by adding more fun to your day and creating time to take better care of yourself that you’re better able to serve others. If you need help putting yourself first so you can better serve others in your life, perhaps we need to speak. I’m here to help…..
