We all know the golden rule.
You know, the one your mum taught you…
“Treat others as you want to be treated yourself.”
But how many of us apply that rule to ourselves? Regularly? Ever?!
Why’s this rule important?
Recent research has shown self-compassion to be a critical ingredient for happiness, health and weight loss.
In the experiment at Wake Forest University, it was found that even small amounts of self-compassion could influence our eating habits in a positive manner.
In the study, the students participated in what they thought was a food-tasting experiment.
Researchers found that the women who felt guilty and beat themselves up about eating the ‘naughty foods’ – in this case doughnuts and lollies – ate larger quantities.
The women who gave themselves permission to enjoy the doughnuts were more abstemious with their portion size and also reported enjoying the food more.
Even a small amount of self-compassion goes a long way towards helping us make healthier food choices.
Why don’t we women have more compassion for ourselves?
Are you afraid you’ll be a bad mother, a terrible partner, an unfulfilled individual if you’re kinder to yourself?
Sounds crazy, but many of us women do think along those lines!
We’re afraid that unless we’re critical of ourselves each and every day, (like hating ourselves slim), we’ll somehow go “off the rails”.
Be unproductive.
Abandon our dreams.
Gain three dress sizes.
Sit on the sofa all day watching re-runs on Netflix.
Here’s the curious thing: being compassionate toward ourselves is not the same as being indulgent or lazy.
And having self-compassion doesn’t hold us back from our best work, our best self or achieving our goals.
Just the opposite.
Self-compassion nourishes the soul. It rejuvenates and energises us. It puts a bounce in our step, a smile on our face and gives us the courage to keep on keeping on towards our goals.
Life feels much much easier, lighter, and more inspired when we come from a place of love, and understanding.
Nourished.
Rejuvenated.
Full.
No more needing to fill ourselves up with things that don’t work.
Like biscuits, when we’re lonely.
Or chips, when we’re overwhelmed.
Or that third glass of wine because we’re stressed.
What is self-compassion?
It’s allowing yourself to be a work in progress – no matter how many times you stumble. It’s seeing yourself without judgment, disappointment or disapproval.
It’s being to guide yourself through the ebb and flow of life with a loving inner voice.
Under developed self-compassion muscles
Self-compassion is a habit we have to develop actively. It takes little time, or energy. Simply a shift in focus.
Next time you go off track in any area of your life or something doesn’t go according to plan, pretend that your most beloved friend was responsible, instead of you.
Or imagine you’re guiding your two-year daughter. How would you talk to her?
That’s right, probably gently, kindly and with a heart full of love!!!
So please remember the golden rule: treat yourself as you would treat others and notice how much more energised and rejuvenated you can feel every day.
Love etc, Avril
PS: If you need a helping hand with developing your compassion muscle and becoming the shape and size you want to be, the virtual gastric band can help. Curious? Why not pop on over here and start the ball rolling. I’m here to help : )