Archives 2015

Hooray – the holiday season is nearly here….fa la la la la…time to celebrate!

But, since food and drink take centre stage at most of our celebrations, it can be easy to overeat without even realising it.

How can you avoid the dreaded holiday weight gain – but still enjoy festive indulgences?

Here are 5 holiday survival tips to help you navigate the chaos of the festive season:

1. Eat Slooowly

I hear you! I get that it sounds very, very low tech.

But you see, we all have an enzyme in our gut that tells our brain when we’re full. Thing is – this enzyme takes 15 minutes to travel from our gut to our brain. So if you’re speedily shovelling in the Christmas turkey or frantically scoffing the hors d’oeuves, it’s oh so easy, to go from famished to absolutely stuffed, before your brain even has a chance to register the “I’m done!” signal.

One of the easiest ways to slow your eating is to put your knife and fork down between mouthfuls. Slooow down, chew your food and be present.

Who knows – you might even the opportunity to converse and engage with others around the table. How civilised!

2. Alternate your Christmas tipple

All those free cocktails at the work do, and the bottles of bubbly at the neighbour’s BBQs can be a culprit for unwanted excess. In the spirit of Christmas, one glass can swiftly become, um, well…..substantially more.

But who wants to be a teetotaller? Not me!

A simple way to address the excess holiday drinking is to alternate your alcohol with a glass of water.

Again, I get it – it sounds pedestrian. But it works (and your head will thank you in the morning when you wake up, hangover-less).

3. Connect with family and friends NOT food

Instead of focusing on the inevitable food and drink during the festive season, I encourage you to spend focus on connecting with people gathered around the table.

At the party, make a conscious effort to seek out a conversation with your out-of-town colleague. Have a chat with your favourite aunt and really connect with them.

You see, when we have an enjoyable connection with people, we change the biochemistry in our body. During social engagement with loved ones, the ‘good-feeling’ hormone oxytocin is increased, which decreases our desire for food.

So, connect with your cousin and get the naturally-occurring appetite suppressants flowing!

4. Move your body, every day

Set the intention to move your body every day. It’ll help with processing any extra food, and it’ll also help with holiday stress.

Perhaps it’s a brief walk after your meals with the family. Maybe it’s a solitary stroll after your meals to avoid the family (!!!). Maybe you could toss the football outside with your grandkids for some fresh air.

The key is to keep it simple – do not overcomplicate it. Just get your body moving – even a 10-minute stroll does wonders for your body.

5. Express your gratitude

We all have much for which to feel grateful.

Even if you’re going through a tough time – maybe Santa didn’t deliver or maybe your dearly beloved is absent. Perhaps money / time / nerves feel stretched. You still have oooooodles for which to be grateful.

Remember, that when we focus on gratitude, we feel more grateful, and we start to have the realisation that – there’s an awful lot that we want ….. that we already have!!!

So, keep focusing on the aspects in your life that bring joy, and a smile to your lips.

The festive season is a time of celebration, love and gifts. Why not use these five tips so that you can give yourself the gift of health?

Wishing you all happy, healthy holidays!

Love etc, Avril

PS: If you’d like a helping hand so that you can start your 2016 with weight loss momentum, maybe hypnotherapy is exactly what you need. Why not come on over and start a conversation?

“I’ve failed sooo many diets, I don’t even know where to begin!” – is the despair of many women.

No doubt you’re familiar with your own pattern.

Perhaps you catch a glimpse of yourself on Facebook, or maybe it was something someone said.

So…

…you search Google for the latest diet. You start planning your food. Maybe you join a gym.

Your teeth are gritted, your fists clenched, your committed declaration is “this time will be different!”

Anyone who’s uttered these words knows, if these tactics worked… they’d have worked by now.

Yet we keep telling ourselves the same story, repeating the same pattern in the desperate hope that this time we’ll fit our jeans.

Sure, making a plan is good.

But…

…when we haven’t closed the door on the shame and self-loathing we carry in our heads about our past failures, we are doomed to slip back into our old self-sabotage-y habits.

Our shiny new declarations won’t mean a thing.

So, the big question really is …

…what is the first step towards permanent weight loss?

Start afresh.

Clean the slate …  with the F-Word.

With F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S.

Uh-huh.

Forgive yourself for past diet failures. Stop obsessing about why you didn’t succeed in the past. And …definitely stop telling yourself that something is wrong with you.

There’s an immense power in forgiveness. A release. A newness.

Disappointment, anger, guilt, shame, resentment are destructive. They eat away at us, they weigh heavily on our hips and hearts, and are absolutely incompatible with making peace with food.

All that emotional baggage will predispose your brain to fail.

Because as soon as you stumble, (and you will stumble – it’s part of the journey),  you’ll give up and quit on yourself.

And quitting is the guarantee that you’ll never shift the weight.

How do you give yourself a clean start?

It takes practice. Gently observe your language and start catching yourself when you say, “This’ll never work” or “Why do I even bother?”

These language cues are a heads-up you’re still lugging that suitcase of old emotional “stuff” with you. You’ve fallen into the habit of letting your past create your future.

Turn to a new page. Forgive yourself. (You’re human!)

Start fresh.

Who cares how many times you’ve stumbled previously!

Starting clean and fresh, with a heart full of forgiveness is the first step towards permanent weight loss.

Love etc, Avril

PS: Some people can release their emotional luggage alone. Some people need a helping hand to create a future without the weight of past habits which is where Virtual Gastric Banding can help. Why not drop me a line. I’m here to help you start afresh and make peace with food, permanently.

If you’re thinking … “You gotta be kidding me!  I don’t get anything out of being overweight – except for feeling rubbish in my jeans!!!”… listen up.

Because as crazy as it sounds, if you’re not the shape and size you want to be, then you are getting something out carrying that bit extra.

Here’s why…

The Mischief of Secondary Gain 

As humans, everything we do, we do, because we get something out of it.

In psychology it’s called secondary gain. In English it’s the unconscious or under-the-radar reasons for holding onto an undesirable condition.

Secondary gain is very, very common. It’s the reason why so many of us say “I want to easily fasten the top button of my jeans”, but then behave in ways that directly conflict with what we said we wanted.

Secondary gain is also deeply unconscious. It’s like the iceberg that is mostly submerged, and we don’t even know we’re doing it!

It’s super important to recognise your secondary gain, because if you’re unaware of it, your unconscious mind will never allow you to become the shape and size you say you want to be.

But you can change.

First, you must to bring your secondary gain into clear view, out from under the water-line of your mind.

Hence the question…

What do you get out of being overweight?

– Do you use your weight as a barrier between you and future (or current) partners?
– Are you rebelling? Against a parent, a sibling, society, authority, men in general?
– Are you using your weight to punish? Yourself – for something you did or didn’t do in the past – or your partner?
– Do you get to hide or play small? Or blame others?

Example of Emotional Protection

A recent client had a breakthrough when she realised, “I get to hide! I’m online dating, and since I’m a larger lass, I get to tell myself ‘the reason he didn’t contact me was because he’s not into bigger girls, rather than not into me specifically.”

Example of Physical Protection

Another client – who’d struggled with her weight since a sexual attack in childhood – saw why she was sabotaging with post-gym food binges. Unconsciously she felt physically unsafe every time she got close to her pre-attack weight, and she’d self sabotage.

Clearly, these are individual cases.

But they highlight how our minds are very clever at keeping us overweight – all in the name of protection. Our unconscious mind simply wants to keep us safe and away from pain.

And, in its effort to protect, it will do whatever it takes – no matter how illogical it might seem.

So, what’s your thing, darling?

Simply ask yourself the question with honesty and curiosity. Keep enquiring as you go through your day.

You see, as you become aware of your secondary gain, you can consciously take back your power and you’re able to congruently move forward — without the self sabotage.

There’s no right or wrong answer, be gentle but firm and allow yourself the gift of discovering your under-the-radar blocks so that you can become the shape and size you want to be.

Now, off you pop, go and answer the question…

Love etc, Avril

PS: If you’re sick of being stuck in the cycle of saying-one-thing but doing another, hypnotherapy can help. Why not drop me a line? What if being your happy, healthy weight was only an email away….

I’d love to be able to say, “I never overeat”.

But that would be a big, fat fib!

Because there are definitely times when I chomp through more food than my body needs.

But – compared to how I used to be – it’s a vast improvement.

There was a time when I’d overeat three meals a day – plus I’d graze, nibble and snack through the day and night – because food was my way of numbing my feelings.

I used to binge when I felt stressed (or chilled), when I felt socially-awkward, happy or sad….and every other emotional state in between.

Like many women, I’d overeat because I felt emotionally uncomfortable. I didn’t like feeling uncomfortable so I’d self-medicate with food. It was terrific at turning down the volume on the feelings, at least momentarily.

Immense pain

In my work with clients I hear immense pain associated with overeating.

“I eat until I hate myself. I am tired of feeling bad after every meal because I have stuffed myself again. It is like I love food too much and I cannot say no.”

The underlying theme is the desire for control. We feel that if we could just “take back control” then “I could lose the weight”.

But I want to let you in on a secret…

CONTROL IS NOT THE ANSWER TO LOSING WEIGHT

You see, diets are all about control. Foods are separated into groups: ‘good’, ‘naughty’ and ‘forbidden’. Points are counted. It’s a world of deprivation and punishment…..arrrrgh!

And, when we’re in a controlling relationship with food, there’s the inevitable flipside, that of being completely out-of-control.

Yoyo-ing between being “in control” and being “out of control” leaves us feeling frustrated and wondering,

“What the h*%# is wrong with me? I know what I should and shouldn’t be eating – why can’t I just do it?!!”

It’s the CONTROL part that is the big obstacle.

Control is an illusion that the diet industry spends millions convincing us is worth our time chasing. But it’s not.

My recommendation – from my own experience and from helping hundreds of women create a peaceful relationship with food – is to change the conversation.

In plain English: Instead of CONTROLLING your body, go for NOURISHING your body.

Nourishing your body means you honour your body’s own natural wisdom.

You listen carefully to how your body reacts to different foods – so that you can choose foods that invigorate you, versus depleting you.

Nourishing our body has a very, very different tone. A different energy. It even looks different.

It looks like…

• Eating sloooooowly, putting your utensils down between mouthfuls and breathing, you know, actually tasting the flavours!
• Being mindful while eating, as in, not driving your car, watching telly or updating facebook!
• Getting enough sleep so your body can function at a high level.

It is only when we nourish our body that we are able to hear our body’s “I’m done eating” signal.

It’s only when we’re nourish our body that we treat our body with care and kindness…and we stop punishing ourselves with overeating.

If you’ve been in a controlling, depriving and painful relationship with your body, learning how to nourish it is a process.

It’s not something that changes overnight. But it can change.

If you’re struggling with overeating and you want things to change, let’s talk.

Love etc, Avril

PS: If you’re tired of the control vs out-of-control spiral, and you’re ready to be your happy shape and size – without deprivation or counting calores, why not let’s have a chat. I’m here to help.

So you have a goal.

You want to lose some weight. Maybe drop a dress size. Perhaps even wear a sleeve-less top without feeling self-conscious.

Maybe you want to be a more positive role model for your little girl.

Or, come off the meds.

Permanently. Forever. Once and for all.

So you work on it.

You stop doing certain things and you start doing some new things.

Add some time, some consistency and some repetition.

And voila!

You are moving towards your goal.

It works – yahoooooooooooooooo!

You’re changing, coming out of hiding, your new habits are beginning to feel ‘normal’.

You’re loving how your clothes feel (you’re going to have to start asking for it in a smaller size!)

But…then…

…..you stop doing what works.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Maybe you feel pressured with all the “wow, you look amazing” comments.
Maybe you feel vulnerable outside your comfort zone.
Maybe you feel discouraged at the lack of comments from others. (You’ve dropped three dress sizes and no-one’s said a thing!!!!)
And the biggie: Maybe you thought it’d “happen overnight”.

So now that you’re gathering momentum, you want to slow down.

Slack off.

Stop doing what works.

You give yourself a “wee break” which is code for “I’ll start next Monday” (month, year, before my holidays, after the cruise….).

Reality check: You need to keep doing what works.

Simply because – we get what we want in life by taking small, regular steps in the right direction.

Losing weight isn’t the immediate, massive leap of which we all dream. That ‘overnight’ success only happens in the movies. It’s make believe! Only in Hollywood does the star wake up with seemingly miraculous results.

Yet we are conditioned to look for those immediate results. And we all secretly hope to find it.

But it’s an utterly, hopeless illusion.

Because in real life, dropping a dress size is all about the small decisions you make, every day.

In the moment of each decision, it feels like they aren’t very meaningful.

And in each moment, you really don’t see a big, surprising result, either.

But when you keep doing the small stuff, you will wake up one day and you will have achieved what you want most.

Make peace with that encouraging fact.

Keep going lovely.

Love etc, Avril

PS: If you’re tired of the disappointment of ‘Hollywood thinking’ and are ready for something that works – permanently, forever, once and for all – weight loss hypnotherapy can help. Why not drop me a line over here.