Archives October 2011

‘Should’ is a perfidious little word.

It seems so innocent. Do NOT be fooled by its trickster-ish ways.

Every time we use ‘should’, whether with ourselves or with someone else, we’re effectively saying “Uh-uh….wrong…not quite good enough”.

There’s a heaviness to it. A limited-ness. And a distinct lack of choice.

Recently I was out running when my watch indicated my pace was slower than usual. Generously, I figured it was because of the hill I was cresting.

But because I’m a coach, and I know that the ancestor to every action is thought, I figured I’d enquire as to what was circulating in my head.

Here’s what I discovered…I was should-ing all over myself.

“C’mon Avril, you should get a wriggle on and get up this hill …. hurry up, you have to file your tax return…..you should collect the washing, there’s rain on the horizon…you SHOULD……..you HAVE TO ……”

You get the picture. Heavy and uninspiring.

Little wonder my pace was laboured and slugglish.

Through the sweaty ache of my quads, I had a blinding flash of lucidity.

It was a real perception shifter.

It was this…

A dear friend of mine recently lost her husband to cancer. He was 35.

I thought about how much he’d love to have the opportunity to tackle this monster hill.

I imagined how delighted he’d be to have the liberty to calculate his tax return.

I figured he’d relish the chance to race the rain, and bring in the washing, one more time.

Instead of chugging through his To Do list in a moan-y fashion, he’d likely say, “Tremendous… today I feel well enough to get to tackle this hill…bring it on!”

The fact is, you and I are here, right now, and the 154,138 people who have died today, are not.

What would they give to have just one more moment here with healthy legs, with beating heart, with hills to climb?

I have no magic wand. I cannot bring him back. But I can learn from him.

How?

By changing one word.

There I was midway up the hill, panting on the pavement, and I replaced ” should” with “get to”.

“I get to run up this hill.”

It made ALL the difference in the world.

Compare and contrast, “I really should lose weight” with “I get to lose weight”. Or even better, “I choose to lose weight.”

Feel the difference?

See how much lighter, more inviting and infinitely more do-able “I get to” is?

At first it might feel forced and a bit silly. After a few days it will feel natural. You’ll feel freer, more thoughtful and more aware of why you do what you do.

Sometimes we become so encumbered by our To Do List or our Should List we forget to be thankful for the opportunity to be here to complete them.

It’s the smallest thing, but it has the power of something big. It’s a shift in perspective that can open your head and your heart and help you lose weight.

And if you choose to, you get to try it on ; )

Share and inspire us. What are you going to change on your Should List? What are you going to get to do or choose to do instead?

Love etc, Avril

Do you have inner sparkle?

That is the question.

The answer is yes, sweetheart… you do.

But to be absolutely certain, you should first read these words.

They’ve been written for you. Personally.

Do you remember? Once you were a little girl. You were told how to do your hair, what to wear. How to talk, how to say hello.

Your movements, your language, your style, your very self, were all controlled by adults.

At that time there wasn’t much room for you. The world was run by others, the grown-ups.

Then inevitably, you too grew up.

You began to be interested in how you fitted into the world. You wanted to look like one or other of your friends. Maybe like a film star or a photo of a singer in a magazine. You tried to find your own identity: a role in which you could express yourself.

So you followed the trends. You took up one fashion, then the next, then the next…

And where are you today?

Today, you suddenly remember that such a thing as inner sparkle exists.

Women with sparkle can be found on every continent, in every country. They are immediately recognisable.

In Africa, in the Americas, in Asia, in Europe, in a jungle tribe or at the top of a sky scraper, women with inner sparkle are the most remarkable of them all.

Why? They are everywhere at ease. Everything suits them.

Women with inner sparkle seem more free, less predictable. They have the power to astonish.

“How do they manage it? What is their secret? Were they born lucky? Have the stars helped them?”

No, it’s not a question of chance or a lucky star sign. There are three billion women on mother nature’s green earth. ALL of us are born with inner sparkle.

But many of us lose our inner sparkle as we hit the sharp edges of life, and that bounce in our stride is lost.

It’s so easy to forget that we ALL have inner sparkle. All you have to do is act like everyone else, think like everyone else and listen to everyone else’s opinions.

So, you forget who YOU really are. You forget you have your own tastes, desires, dislikes, rejections.

You forget to be yourself. And your inner sparkle vanishes into thin air.

Inner sparkle deserts women who behave like everyone else.

The first lesson of inner sparkle is to Just. Be. You.

Try it.

Now.

Close your eyes for a few moments.

Can you feel it?

There are incredible aspects deep within you.

Impulses, thoughts, ideas. They have great value. They give you YOUR value.

Until now, you’ve kept them to yourself.

Suppose you express them?

Suppose you no longer allow others to decide for you what’s beautiful or ugly, the ‘done’ thing, right or wrong?

Suppose you decide to give much greater importance to your senses, your feelings, your heart.

And less to habit, custom, social codes, “what will the (curtain-twitching) neighbours say”…

Of course, it’s a bit scary.

You hesitate. You’re afraid of making a fool of yourself, of being criticised.

Yet the worst danger of all for any chica is to lose her inner sparkle.

No, you will not make a fool of yourself… you will BE yourself. You won’t be ostracised, you will charm.

Who? Almost everyone, and most importantly, YOURSELF.

When? Immediately.

Inner sparkle is inexplicable. All you have to do is dream, believe and act. And if you’re afraid, so much the better…the butterflies make it all the more exciting.

Improvise.

Learn in a moment what no-one taught you as a child. The contrary of what you were taught.

No imitation.

Be YOU. Your inner sparkle abounds. Set it free.

Sparkly love etc, Avril

Exercise… and I say this sadly because I too have my lazy moments …. is a strictly Do-It-Yourself business.

If the idea of running, lifting weights or heaving against the row machine just isn’t your thing, you’re in good company.

A lot of good folk just aren’t that into exercise.

And that’s OK.

Because here’s some wonderful news…

According to recent research you can STILL find your thinner sparkle, lose weight and look absolutely fabulous – WITHOUT strenuous exercise.

Researcher, Dr James Hill has discovered that the average daily number of steps taken by women is about 5,000 steps.

Intriguingly, his study shows that overweight women take 2,000 fewer steps per day than their happy-weight sisters.

Think about that for a moment.

Only 2,000 steps separates those who are overweight from their happy-weight counterparts.

Like to know the distance of 2,000 steps? Four. City. Blocks.

Four city blocks stand between you and your happy weight.

Incredible.

Just so we’re clear.

Hill isn’t talking about extreme exercise here. He’s not talking about pavement-pounding, iron-pumping or sweat-inducing exercise….he’s talking about walking.

Good ole-fashioned, move-your-butt, one-foot-in-front-of-the- other: WALKING.

Last week, you learned just how easy it is to disturb your body’s innate balance through overeating.

Well, today you’re seeing how you can restore that balance, through lacing-up and stepping-out.

Simple steps.

Four city blocks. I mean, come ooooon!!!

So…. go get yourself a pedometer (step counter) from a sports shop (they’re about $10). From the moment you wake up, attach it to your belt and find out how many steps you currently take in a typical day.

Aim to increase the number of steps by 2,000 a week until you hit a comfortably, maintainable target. Hill’s study suggests 10,000 steps per day is a good ball park figure.

The beauty of walking is its accessibility. I’m guessing there’s a pavement (‘sidewalk’ for my Americans readers) outside your house?

Yup? Go get your-good-self acquainted with it.

Walking’s safe, simple and you’ll soon get good at it. You can fit walking around your lifestyle. Anytime, anywhere.

No excuses.

You don’t need a gym membership. No specialist Lycra kit required.

Listen up: my purpose isn’t to discourage you from gym-ing it. If you adore your spin classes or you love lifting iron…hats off to you chica, keep it up.

This missive is for the non-exercisers amongst you. You know who you are….

I realise there are exercise experts out there who argue that “you must exercise with continuous motion for one-hour to get fitness results”.

And maybe that’s true. If you’re training for a marathon.

All I know is that whether it comes to food, exercise of almost anything else, I’ve had to find my own rhythms and honour them.

I’ve learned if I tell myself, “I MUST achieve my 10,000 steps in one workout,” I’ll find all sorts of inventive ways to avoid getting out the door. I’ll overwhelm myself. And do nothing.

But I’ve discovered that if I take a bunch of 15-minute walks throughout the day, it feels good. And by nightfall, I’ve achieved my 10,000 steps.

Job’s a good ‘un.

I’ve also learned to keep it simple. In my book, even one five-minute walk is vastly better than no walk at all.

Well, isn’t it?

So no, you don’t need to start a formal exercise program … (unless you want to feel more confident, be less moody and feel better in yourself)….but you DO need to move your body.

Do it whenever you get the chance. Yes, that too will burn calories ; )

Take the stairs instead of the lift. Walk your dog. Park your car a block from your office and walk the difference. Disembark the train a stop early and take a stroll. Leave the car in the garage and walk the school run.

Move.

Dance.

Play.

Have fun. You only have one body. It was designed to move. Enjoy it.

In the comments below, I’d love to hear YOUR best tips for getting your steps up and keeping yourself motivated around exercise.

As always, a huge thank you for your time and for reading. If you found this information useful, please share it with your friends on Twitter and Facebook.

One foot after the other. Step it out, lay dees : )

Love etc, Avril

Are you looking for a magic elixir – perhaps a detox formula or some celebrity-endorsed pills – which will somehow magically melt your weight away?

It’s a nice, optimistic idea, isn’t it?

And how very splendid…if only it worked.

We know it doesn’t though, don’t we ladies.

It simply cannot.

Because…

You. Cannot. Subtract. By. Addition.

Read that again.

It’s worth getting your beautiful head around.

You cannot SUBTRACT something (as in, your weight), by ADDING something (pills, detox pills or ‘slimming foods’) to your daily intake.

Add more to your daily intake, and the total on the scale will increase. So says infant school maths.

Sure, detox formulas and appetite suppressants will certainly not add to your weight (so in that respect they are ‘slimming’ foods), but NOTHING you add to your diet will help you subtract weight.

Good. I’m pleased we’re clear on that.

Now, let’s pause a moment.

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Good work.

I know I’ve just said, “There’s no such thing as a magic elixir for weight loss ….”

Well, actually there is. Or at least, it’s the closest thing I’ve come across.

Today I read a study which backs up my assumption with hard evidence.

Research presented at the American Chemical Society in Boston demonstrated that increased water consumption is an effective weight loss strategy.

It’s not just folklore ; )

This study found that obese dieters who drank two glasses of water before each meal lost 5 pounds more than the group of dieters who didn’t increase their water intake.

And a year later, the water-drinkers had also kept more of the weight off.

So there you go ladies, two glasses of water before each meal.

Need More Reasons To Drink Up?

If you’re one of these ya-can-lead-em-to-water-but-ya-can’t-make-em-drink types and you need even more proof of water’s weight loss efficacy, the next bit is especially for you.

You probably already know that your body comprises roughly 75% water. Did you know that very often when we feel hungry, we’re actually just thirsty?

According to Dr Batmanghelidj, author of the ground-breaking book Your Body’s Many Cries for Water, many of the aches and pains that we experience on a daily basis, including hunger, are actually the preliminary effects of dehydration.

And since it’s virtually impossible to tell the difference between this ‘thirst signal’ and authentic hunger, the best thing to do is drink water before you sit down to eat.

If you’re not hungry afterwards, you’ll know that “hunger signal” was thirst – and no matter how much food you ate, it would never quite feel like it ‘hit the spot’.

And if you’re still hungry after your water, then dig in.

Cheers ladies, and c’mon in … the water’s lovely : )

Love etc, Avril