Archives 2018

The P-Word: the enemy of weight loss

Now if you’re a perfectionist – listen up – because THIS IS FOR YOU!

Having guided hundreds of women to become their happy shape and size, I can let you in on a secret.

‘Perfectionism’ works NOT at all as a weight management tool.

In our heavily photoshopped and diet-driven world, we’ve been tricked into believing that it’s possible to become our happy shape and size by “being perfect.”

But the problem with perfectionism is that it conveniently forgets something fundamental—that we’re human, life happens, and we live in the real world.

Trying to lose weight perfectly is overrated, and it’s exhausting, and it’s the quickest way to self-sabotage.

I know you’ve been there.

Perhaps you’ve decided to go sugar-free for the month, but somehow a chocolate biscuit finds it’s way into your mouth. Instead of enjoying the chocolatey treat, savouring it, you immediately shame yourself and beat yourself up…

“Oh crap, I’ve eaten the chocolate, there’s lots of sugar in there—that’s naughty—I might as well eat the whole box of biscuits and eat them out of the way because “I’ve really ruined it!”

Hello guilt, shame and making yourself wrong.

Sure you promise you’ll go sugar-free Monday (next month, at New Years)……… But in the interim we eat everything in the pantry……in imitation of a bear hibernating for winter.

So many of the women who come to see me have been doing this on high repetition.

So what I encourage you to do is put down the beating-up-stick called perfectionism and I give you permission to focus on…

Progress NOT perfection

We all stumble when we learn something new. When you focus on progress over perfection, you permit yourself to be human.

It allows you to stumble, to dust yourself off and keep on keeping on without the heaviness of guilt or shame or making yourself wrong.

Whenever we do that – the shame, the guilt, the making ourselves wrong – we break our own heart.

I get that progress, not perfection feels counter intuitive at first.

We’re so used telling ourselves to harden up as we shame ourselves every time we reach for the chocolate.

But if beating yourself up was going to work, it would’ve worked by now.

So give yourself the gift of progress, not perfection.

Every time you stumble treat yourself with kindness, remind yourself that you’re human and keep on keeping on step by step.

Because you are rewriting, you are re-wiring years and years of old conditioning and learned behaviour.

Here’s how you can apply #progressNOTperfection to your weight loss journey.

For example, if you’re halfway through your dinner, and you realise that you’re scoffing it down—just remember to remember to eat slowly. In that moment just remember to slow down.

Simply start eating slowly, even if it’s mid-chew…….just remember to remember.

No drama, no, “OMG, I fail at everything!!” “OMG this proves that I’m never going to shift this weight!!!!”

You’re just being human!

Allow yourself that gift and just keep on keeping on.

By focusing on progress not perfection, you recalibrate your mind.

You replace that All or Nothing judgmental thinking…that Black and White comparison-i-tis thinking we’ve learned from the diet industry (which keeps us stuck!)

Be compassionate, be kind, allow yourself to mess the journey up. Have a bit of fun!

And before you know it you’ll well on the way to becoming your happy shape and size, imperfectly, step by step by step.

Are you one of the many women who’re dreading the holidays because of the “inevitable”weight gain?

I’m so happy to share four tips on how you can navigate the Christmas holidays WITHOUT putting on any weight.

1. Stop giving yourself ‘permission’ to put on weight

Many women – and I’m not judging here because I definitely used to be one of them – are unintentionally giving themselves permission to put on weight.

You can still enjoy yummo festive treats but you need to stop giving yourself permission by saying things like:

“I have zero willpower, I’m practically guaranteed to go up a dress size at Christmas!!!”

You see, when we give ourselves permission to put on weight over the holidays – we will! You see our mind always seeks to prove itself right. That’s how it works.

So instead, what I encourage you to do is make a commitment to enjoy the Christmas treats, eat them mindfully, eat them slowly and be grateful for them.

Once you make that commitment, all other decisions are much much much easier.

2. Turn off the telly while you’re eating

Watching telly leads us to eat mindlessly and we forget exactly how many festive chocolates we’ve already had.

I’m not suggesting zero Netflix all holiday season, okay, just no telly while you’re eating.

3. Reduce stress and overwhelm by belly breathing

How perverse is it that we can look forward to the holidays all year, yet when they arrive, they can be super stressful!!

Unfortunately, stress can trigger cravings, especially for sugary treats. 

So remember you can reduce stress by breathing deeply. I know it sounds simple and low tech but you can breathe your way back to your happy place.

4. Stop saying yes (just to beliked)

We’ve all had that situation where we’ve been badgered by friends or family members or the host into eating more than we want to eat by them pushing pushing seconds onto your plate.

Remember it’s okay to respectfully decline.

You can always divert your host’s offer of another slice of cake with “I’m done, that was wonderful, no more cake, but I’d love a cup of tea.”

Allow your host to be generous, kind and loving but in a way that respects your needs as well.

Stop eating out of obligation, guilt or fear.

Just say no.

Remember, the festive season is a time of celebration, of gifts of love. Why not use these four tips so that you can give yourself the greatest gift of all – that of health?

Wishing you all a fun, happy, healthy holidays!

Hello, how are you? I’m Avril, weight loss hypnotherapist for women, and I’m thrilled to welcome you to your tip of the week to help you make peace with food.

Thanks for being here.

This week’s tip is all about eating from smaller bowls and smaller plates.

Really, why would you do that?

I know, I know I know –  it sounds crazy.

But there’s plenty of research that shows when you eat from a smaller plate, you’re actually happier with much smaller portions.

It’s a curious thing but we feel less hungry, less deprived because you’ll still have eaten from a “full” plate.

Think back to your childhood. Most of us have been conditioned to eat everything on our plates.

Which is an issue in this day and age because of the relentless upsizing of portions that has occurred over the last several decades.

ENORMOUS has become the new normal!

We tell ourselves, “Oh, I only had a muffin for breakfast” but muffin sizes are enormous.  

One muffin in this day and age can pack in nearly as many calories as an entire meal did in our parent’s generation.

It’s the same with bowls of cereal. The bowls are enoooooooooormous.

But in our mind, “it’s just one serve.”

Our brain focuses on the number of serves – not the amount – which is leading us up the weight-gain garden-path!!!!!

Fast food outlets have rather cleverly taken advantage of this.

Think about when McDonald’s opened in NZ in the 70s, they only had only one size of fries – which was ‘small’. It was thought that if people wanted more, they’d order more.

But people didn’t because they felt greedy asking for two portions. McDonalds marketing team cottoned onto this very early on so they gradually made their portions size bigger and bigger and bigger.

Suddenly it’s psychologically easier for us to order – and eat – much more food. 

How to prevent portion creep

So what can you do about this portion creep without super size yourself?

The easiest and simplest way to prevent portion creep is to eat from smaller plates and bowls.

That way you can take advantage of the optical confusion of eating from a smaller bowl or a smaller plate while still feeling satisfied.

I hope you found that helpful.

I’ll see you next week for your weekly tip on how you can make peace with food.

Hello, how are you? I’m Avril, clinical hypnotherapist, and I’m thrilled to welcome you to your tip of the week to help you make peace with food.

This week’s tip has the power to give you confidence and control around food.

Unfortunately though, it seems it has a rather unsexy brand image based on the number of women whose eyes glaze over when I mention it.

What am I talking about?

I’m talking about mindful eating.

Ironically, it’s opposite – mindless eating – is what made most of us overweight in the first place. That sneaky combination of 1. eating….. and 2. doing eeeeeeeeeverything else except focusing on our food.

Here’s the problem with that – mindless eaters overeat. It’s as simple as that. If you’re a mindless eater, you’re eating more than your body requires – and the saddest thing is, you’re not even present to enjoy it.

Once upon a time ….

….mindless eating wasn’t a big issue. But because we’ve fully embraced the age of maaaaaaaaaaaaassive portion sizes, it’s even easier to eat more than our body needs.

I get it. Times have changed and we’re increasingly multitasking, we’re busybusybusy, we’ve normalised eating as just another thing to tick off on our to-do list.

What is mindless eating exactly?

Mindless eating is eating while distracted or doing something else. It’s eating while watching television. It’s eating while reading. It’s eating while driving.

I want you to knock it off!

I want you to be your happy shape and size, i want you to feel energised through the day, I want you to feel fabulous in whatver you want to wear.

Unfortunately being mindful has a really unsexy brand image but it’s actually the key to becoming our happy shape and size.

How to apply this in your life.

Mindful eating is sitting down and being present, appreciating and savouring your food.

Sit down to dinner, lunch, and breakfast. Remove all forms of distraction while you’re eating.

No more eating in front of the telly, while reading, social media-ing or driving because you’re unaware of how much you’ve eaten. Close the newspaper, turn off Netflix, power down your iPad.

You can always update your Facebook status after you’ve eaten. I promise the world will not go into a holding pattern without you!

“But I’m soooooooooo busy!”

If you’re lamenting, “I’m too busy to sit down to eat!” you’re in good company. We’re all busy.

But—and there’s no way to sugar-coat this, sweetheart—if you reckon you’re too busy to take the time now eat mindfully, then sooner or later, you will need to deal with all the unpleasant health complications that being overweight brings.

Listen up, buttercup, it’s as simple as that. Put yourself and your body’s needs on your own to-do list now, or be forced to do it later. And no, the world will not go into a holding pattern!

Mindful eating is a beautiful example of respect, appreciation, and self-care.

One client, a self-confessed bookworm, would immerse herself in a gripping read while nibbling chocolates. Frequently, by the end of the chapter, she’d be surprised to discover all the chocolates had vanished. She’d look around the room for someone to accuse— husband, one of the children, the dog—but   she’d be alone in the house. The entire packet had vanished without her noticing (or enjoying) them because she was so ensconced in the book!

So be present be mindful and enjoy every mouthful

If you want to eat chocolates, eat them! Savour and enjoy them. But put your book down.

Just because we women can multitask doesn’t mean we should! You know who you are. Slow down, savour, enjoy every mouthful. Be present to your own life.

I hope you found that helpful.

For more weekly tips and ways to make peace with food feel free to sign up below and you can always follow me on social media, and I’ll see you next week.

Have a mindful day!

This week’s tip is all about the power of belly breathing.

I know, I know. When I first heard about it I dismissed it because it was so low tech. I wanted something higher tech than breathing.

But you see, nothing communicates to our body, more eloquently than our breath, that we are safe.

Breathing literally calms us down.

It brings us back to good.

What do I mean by that?

Your body is incredibly wise.

One of her intelligent design features is that when you’re feeling stressed, she wants to run away from the stressful situation.

We’re simply not designed to eat while stressed. And if we do eat while feeling stressed—worried, busy, anxious—our digestive system shuts down, which leads to a poorly digested meal.

But, by breathing deeply 10 times before eating anything, it remedies this stress.

It communicates to your body that you’re safe.

It literally changes the biochemistry of our body by expelling the adrenaline, so we feel calm. It reminds you that the sabre-tooth tiger is extinct. There’s no famine either.

You’re safe. Really, you are.

This feeling of safety is vital, as it allows your body to break down and absorb nutrients and process the food.

So please, before eating anything, I encourage you to take the time to breathe deeply 10 times.

Why not incorporate deep breathing into your eating mindfulness practice?

You can always choose to feel stressed after your 10 breaths, but you probably won’t because you’ll be back to good.

I hope you found that helpful.

Please feel free to join me next week for more weekly tips and ways to make peace with food.

Have a super day!