Archives January 2020

OK, so it’s January and if you’re like most women around the world you’ve decided focus on your health. Good for you.

Your teeth are gritted, your fists are clenched, and you’re telling yourself “this time will be different!!!”

You need the F-word

But I’m here to share that without the F-word, you’ll get the same frustrating result as in past Januarys.

Here’s why…

Before we start the decade afresh, we need to close the door on the shame we carry in our heads about our past diet failures.

Releasing the shame is super important because shame is one of the biggest causes of self-sabotage for us women.

Simply put, if you’re carrying shame, your sparkley new-decade declarations won’t mean a thing.

So how do we start the new decade afresh?

By using the F-Word.

What’s the F-Word?

F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S.

I encourage you to forgive yourself for past diet failures.

With forgiveness it means you can stop obsessing about why you didn’t succeed in the past.

There’s an immense power in forgiveness.

A newness.

A release.

A freshness.

Disappointment, guilt, shame, frustration, resentment – these are very destructive emotions.

They eat away at us, they weigh heavily on hearts (and our hips), and are absolutely incompatible with making peace with food.

All that emotional baggage will predispose you to self-sabotage.

Notice your language patterns

Gently observe your language patterns and notice when you say, “This’ll never work” or “Why do I even bother?”

These language cues are a heads-up you’re still lugging that suitcase of old emotional “stuff” with you which means you’re creating your future from your past.

Start fresh with forgiveness

Who cares how many times you’ve stumbled previously!

Forgive yourself and start again.

Now if you would like more mindset tools to help you make peace with food I encourage you to join me in my free women’s only Facebook group. It’s called Peace With Food.

Sooooooo many women say to me if I just had more will power, I could shift this weight.

But it’s not true.

Relying on will power is a sure fire way to fail.

We fool ourselves by thinking, “If I had more will power, I could resist that chocolate biscuit.”

Here’s why will power fails us….

You see, we all have two minds: the conscious mind and the unconscious mind.

The conscious mind houses your will power.

It’s about 10% of your mind. It’s the part of you that knows intellectually that you shouldn’t eat that fifth chocolate biscuit.

The unconscious mind is the powerhouse – it’s the other 90%.

It’s in charge of all automatic functions like breathing, healing, and it controls all of your eating habits….. including whether you eat that fifth biscuit.

You can see by the numbers that the unconscious mind that’s in control.

For example, try not to understand the following…

Yuor mnid is aimazngly perofwul! Wloceme to a wrold of hddien potential. Brtheae, realx, and konw that cahnge is esay when you use the peowr of your unconscouis mnid, the smae part taht atiutocamally understands thsee wrods.

See, the unconscious mind is an absolute powerhouse!

As you read those words, did you need to think about how to read? You just did it!

So, if you want to become the shape and size you want to be, it’s your unconscious mind you need to change.

Rather than fighting cravings, emotional eating and bad habits you can re-program in new cravings and habits that will make you the shape and size you want to be.

Remember: chagne is esay wehn you konw how!

If finding more will power has failed for you in the past, why not harness the incredible power of your unconscious mind with virtual gastric band hypnosis so that you can be the shape and size YOU want to be?

Now that we are knee deep in holidays, chances are, you’re with your friends or family.

How’s that going for you?!

If we’re not careful, when we’re around friends and family we can start ’emotionally outsourcing’ which leads to emotional eating.

What do I mean by that?

What is emotional outsourcing?

If the kids would just stop bickering, I’d be less stressed and wouldn’t need to nibble on the crisps!!!

If Uncle Jon would stop being so sarcastic, I’d have a better time and I wouldn’t need to eat the Christmas chocolate!!!!

If my partner would help me in the kitchen, I’d feel more supported and I wouldn’t have to take comfort in the lollies!!!

You get the idea, right?!

Emotional outsourcing is when we need other people to behave in a certain way before we allow ourselves permission to feel good.

The truth is we have zero control over others.

Not Uncle Jon, not our kids, not our partner.

The only person we have control over is ourselves.

But by waiting for them to change their behaviour before we feel good is how we give away our power. We abdicate our responsibility to feel good right now as we give control to other people.

You probably know on an intuitive level how frustrating and ineffective it is to try and change other people.

The only person you can control is you.

So breathe deeply, come back to you, girlfriend. You’ve got this.

I get it – this does take practice – it goes against so much of the conditioning that we women receive – but you can do this.

And if you’d like help with your 2020 health goals – and to de-programme all that feminine conditioning that doesn’t support us in our journey – I’m here to support you. The doors to Lighten Up, my online weight loss programme for women, open next week.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always loved the hope, promise and possibility associated with a new year.

But let’s be honest, New Year’s resolutions have a history of failure, often only lasting a couple of days or weeks at most.

So how do we approach the new year in a way that nourishes our body, nourishes our mind and helps us achieve the goal?

Why resolutions fail

But first, let’s talk about why traditional New Year’s resolutions fail.

Because if we don’t address why resolutions fail, come midnight you’ll fall back into old patterns, and be tempted to make a resolution for the new decade.

Resolutions fail because 1. we often make them after a cocktail…am I right?!

2. they often come from a place of lack. As in, we’re beating ourselves up or we’re comparing ourselves to other people, or where we think we should be.

And 3. we make them so darn big and lofty.

What’s more successful than a NY’s resolution?

So for 2020, for the new decade here’s what I encourage you do to increase your chance of success.

1. Make a micro-commitment to do one thing every day.

Forget about doing 10 new things, or lofty ideas like ‘be kinder’ or ‘be more active’.

Make a micro-commitment to do one thing every day.

For example, it might be “I commit to moving my body for three minutes every day.

Yes – I get it – it sounds a bit dull but making one micro-commitment to yourself blows away our three commonest excuses, namely “I’m too tired”, “I don’t have time” and “I’m too busy”.

Every one, no matter how busy you are, can do something active for three minutes every day.

If you’re travelling you could walk up the airport stairs for three minutes. If you’re a stay at home mum, you can chase your child around the garden for three minutes. You can do yoga every day for three minutes. You can do something every day to move your body for three minutes.

We can accomplish any goal – if we break the journey into small enough steps.

I know a daily micro-commitment isn’t very grand-sounding. But it’s achievable, it’s do-able.

Or, another example, instead of saying, I want to be kinder – while a lovely goal, it’s too big and lofty and hard to measure.

Whereas when you frame as every day I commit to one act of kindness. Boom – you have control over that. It’s do-able and achievable.

So do you see the difference? The lofty goal vs the one daily micro-commitment to yourself.

So please please please, ditch the lofty NY’s resolutions.

And make a micro-commitment instead.

I want to tell you – just in case nobody else has told you this recently – I believe in you, I believe in your ability to create the changes that you desire. You are here to make a difference. I’m here to remind you that there’s greatness inside of you, and if you get deliberate with micro-commitments, you can achieve it.

And if you’d like help with your 2020 goals, I’m here to support you. The doors to Lighten Up, my online weight loss programme for women, open shortly.