Archives February 2020

How often do you set a goal – maybe drop a dress size, come of meds or feel more energised – but you keep repeating the old behaviour?

We know that doing the same old, same old, isn’t going move us towards our happy shape and size … but we do it anyway!

Same stuff, different day…grrrrrr!

What most people do is this. We create our future from our past.

By that I mean, since we’re repeating the same old behaviours, of course, our future feels like a repetition of the past.

If you recognise this about yourself – you’re not crazy – it’s because our unconscious mind loves the familiar.

So instead of creating your future from your past, what I encourage you to start making decisions from the future happy healthy you.

Here’s how that looks.

Your future looks bright…

Imagine the slim, happy healthy you. The you who is off meds, the you who has lots of energy, the you who’s lost a dress size, or several!

Now imagine that you. And make ALL your decisions from her perspective.

For example, what would she do now?

Literally, ask her advice.

Maybe you’re choosing what to have for breakfast or you’re choosing what to pick from the menu. Maybe you’re thinking about skipping your daily walk!

“What would the future you, the slim, happy, healthy version of you do?”

She’s the version of you who’s already achieved what you want, so she has the answer.

By asking her for guidance, you’re tapping into some very deep wisdom.

And the more you listen to the wisdom of the future you, in the now, the sooner you’ll create the changes you’re after and the sooner the pair of you will meet!

Interestingly, because it’s YOU telling you what to do, you’ll find your inner rebel much more accepting of the advice, than if it came from another person.

Go have a chat with the future of you before you make any more decisions!

If you want more helpful mindset techniques, why not join me in my free women’s-only Facebook group called Peace With Food. I’d love to see you there.

Who hasn’t fallen into the trap of,

– “When these lumps and bumps and wobbly bits have gone, then I’ll love my body.”

– Or, “I’ll enjoy my reflection and shop for clothes when I’m slimmer.”

– “Yeah, sure I’ll moisturise my thighs when they’re size XS.”

Bad news…

If this resonates with you then becoming your happy shape and size is going to be a challenge for you.

Here’s why…

“You’re not good enough for my love…”

When you tell yourself stories like “I’ll love my butt when it’s the perfect peach,” you’re giving yourself conditional love.

And no-one, your beautiful self-included, responds well to conditional love.

Conditional love is about judgement and is very shaming.

It’s saying, “I don’t love you…. sure, if you make some changes, then I’ll consider loving you…. but right now, you’re not good enough for my love.”

Ouch.

If your friend said those words to you, wouldn’t you unfriend them? IMMEDIATELY!!!

And yet we speak to ourselves like that…. all the time.

Conditional love is about beating yourself up. When you think about it, it’s an odd concept.

“If I hate myself enough, I’d end up by loving myself^$#%*!!!”

And, we get so depressed, and down on ourselves we emotionally eat.

So what is the answer then?

Long term weight loss happens when you come from a position of acceptance, knowing that you already are perfect, whole and complete, right now.

Un-learning our broken-ness

Our broken-ness is learned, not innate.

Children come into this world knowing they are already gorgeous and utterly deserving of love.

We need to un-learn the illusion of our broken-ness. Only kindness makes sense. Anything else is excruciating.

We need to take care of our bodies with reverence instead of stuffing her beyond full every meal.

We need to shop for lovely new clothes irrespective our current size. We need to moisturise our thighs even if they’re not size XS.

Start giving her unconditional love today.

If you’re ready to break the old patterns of beating yourself up and you’re ready to fall in love with your body, why not join me in my free Facebook group Peace With Food?

Sometimes when we decide to lose weight, we get all Hollywood about it.

It sounds like that’d be a good thing, but it’s not.

Here’s why…

So you’ve decided on your goal.

Maybe you want to drop a dress size.

Perhaps you want to be a more positive role model for your little girl.

Or, come off the meds.

You start making small regular steps in the right direction.

Add some time, some consistency and some repetition.

And before you know it, your trousers are starting to feel looser and your new habits are beginning to feel ‘normal’.

But…then… …..you stop doing what works.

What’s that about?!!!!!

Maybe you feel pressured with all the “wow, you look amazing” comments.
Perhaps you feel discouraged at the lack of comments from others because you’ve dropped three dress sizes and no-one’s said a thing!!!!
Or maybe, and it’s a biggy…

You’ve fallen for the Hollywood myth.

The Hollywood myth is when we believe the lie that it’ll “happen overnight”.

Losing weight isn’t the immediate, overnight success that we see in the movies. Only in Hollywood does the star wake up with seemingly miraculous results.

Yet we are conditioned to look for those immediate results. And we all secretly hope to find them.

But in real life, dropping a dress size, role-modelling healthy habits for your daughter, or coming off meds, is all about the small decisions you make every single day.

In the moment of each decision, it doesn’t feel that big or that meaningful.

But when you keep making those small decisions every day, you will wake up one day, and you will have achieved the goal that you want.

And I encourage you to make peace with that fact.

Forget about the Hollywood mentality!

Forget about the Oscars!

Keep going lovely.

If you’re tired of the disappointment of ‘Hollywood thinking’ and are ready for mindset shifts to help you create peace with food – I invite you to join my free women’s only Facebook group. It’s called Peace With Food. I’ll see you there!

I’d love to be able to say, “I never overeat”.

But that would be a fib!

However, compared to where I used to be – when I’d graze, nibble and snack my way through the day – things have changed massively.

Do you want to know the #1 mindset shift that made all the difference?

Like so many clients, I had bought into the myth that if I could “be more in control” then “I could lose the weight”.

But I want to let you in on a secret…

Control is not the answer to weight loss.

Diets are all about control.

Food is separated into ‘good’, ‘naughty’ and ‘forbidden’.

Points are counted.

It’s a world of deprivation, rules and control.

And, you know exactly how that ends.

Whenever we have a rigid or militant or controlling relationship with food, there’s the inevitable flipside – that of being completely out-of-control and bingeing.

Having more control isn’t the answer.

Control is an illusion that the diet industry spends billions of dollars trying to convince us is worth our time chasing. But it’s not.

If not control, then what?

My recommendation – from my own experience and from helping hundreds of women create a peaceful relationship with food –

Instead of controlling your body, go for NOURISHING your body.

For example, before you put anything food in your mouth and before you make your choice at a restaurant, ask yourself – will this nourish my body?

Nourishing our body has a very, very different feeling. A different look to it, a very different energy.

And it’s only when we stop trying to control our body, and instead coming from the perspective of nourishing out that we treat her with care and kindness…and we stop punishing ourselves with overeating.

Go play with that question today.

Is that nourishing my body? And see what your body tells you.

If you’ve been in a controlling relationship with your food, learning how to break that pattern and learn to nourish your body is a process. It takes time but it can be done!

If you’d like help with this process – and other mind management techniques – you might like to join my free Facebook group called Peace with Food.