Archives July 2019

Would you like to know a super simple language mistake that many overweight women make?

Let’s see if you’re making it as well.

So many of the clients I work with talk about my fat thighs, my depression, my enormous appetite, my muffin top.

Now, the problem is this.

Our unconscious mind is very reluctant to let go of anything we prefix with the word ‘my’ or ‘mine’.

Anytime we call something ‘my’ or ‘mine’, we have a very strong sense of ownership over it, and we find it difficult to part with it or let it go.

Can you see how it’s counterproductive to keep calling something you don’t want to keep – mine – while all the time longing to be free of it?

So what I encourage you to do is only prefix something you want to keep and are proud of, with ‘my’ or ‘mine’. Like ‘my determination to my health’ or ‘my commitment to my wellbeing’.

You can take back your power back by depersonalising the way you label the bit extra that you’re carrying.

For example, ‘this’ bit extra or ‘the’ muffin top.

As soon as you talk about ‘the’ muffin top, or ‘this’ extra weight, you’re removing the emotional connection to it, and it makes it much much easier for you to be free of it.

‘This’ and ‘the’ are neutral words.

(Which also explains why we women hate being called ‘the’ wife instead of ‘my’ wife!!! It’s very depersonalised).

So no more talk of ‘my’ big bum, ‘my’ love of chocolate, ‘my’ need for crisps.

Depersonalise anything you want to let go of by using ‘the’ or ‘this’.

Back when I was elbow-deep in my own personal food battle, I was scathingly dismissive of any kind of self-care.

“How incredibly trivial it is!” I thought as I soldiered on, martyring myself.

But, now that I have peace with food, I know self-care is an essential adult life-skill.

And it correlates directly to our health, happiness, and wellbeing.

Many of the women I work with have a history of caring so much for others, for so long, that they’re seething inside and wondering why they keep bingeing on food.

No matter where you are on your making peace with food journey, we women need to remember that.

1. Self-care is life-giving oxygen

When we practice regular self-care, we’re more able to focus on our goals, we’re more engaged and productive, and less drawn to self-sabotaging “escape” behaviours like stress or resentment eating.

2. Self-care creates feelings of relaxation, calm, and peace

When we’re relaxed, our self-repair mechanisms are activated, which is great for digestion and improves our immune functioning.

3. Little eyes notice everything you do

We all know that actions speak louder than words.

The way you respect your own needs is a much more powerful example to the youngsters in your home than any words you say.

We, women, need to walk our talk and show the younger generation that self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity for a happy, healthy life.

So from today, take the time to go for that walk in nature, enjoy that fiction novel that’s been sitting on your bedside table for months, or start that hobby you’ve been contemplating for years.

However you choose to do self-care, know this gorgeous—you are worthy and deserving of self-care, freedom and fun. So take care of you, okay?

And the more you give yourself life-giving oxygen, the more you can be there for loved ones…. but from a place of joy, of peace, of love.

How often do you tell yourself you need to “lose the weight before you find your  life?”

It’s a very, very common form of self-sabotage, especially for us women.

Now the way it works is this.

“When I’m slimmer, I’ll

…go to my school reunion…find the courage to ask for that promotion…I’ll have the energy to play with my grandkids….go to the beach… leave the lights on ….

So you, darling.

Where are you putting your life on hold until “I’m slimmer”?

And in the meantime, you’re waiting. You’re waiting, and you’re waiting some more.

All the while you’re waiting, you’re bored, you’re stressed, you’re frustrated.

That’s right! It’s not a salad that we snack on when we’re bored or frustrated!

Can you see that waiting for the slimmer you, is the perfect way to stay stuck in your life?

What if you stopped waiting and just started doing?

What if you decided that you don’t need to be slim to ask for that promotion, to go to the beach, to go to your school reunion, to play with your grandkids, to spice it up in the bedroom?

All of a sudden, your life is full, your soul is nourished, and you don’t need your mouth to be full get that dose of pleasure.

After a while, you notice that you’re getting closer and closer to being your happy shape and size—because you’ve stopped waiting and you’ve started doing.

So get started today.

Pick one thing you’ve been waiting on and go start doing it.

I hope you found that useful and I look forward to seeing you next with another making peace with food tip.

How often do you buy foods for the ‘grandkids’ … and as soon as you get home, you demolish what you bought for the grandkids, yourself?

It’s okay. You’re human!

What I want you to start doing is stack the deck in your favour.

Here’s exactly what I mean.

If you’re at the grocery store and you are faced with biscuits or chocolates or crisps – whatever it is that you KNOW you will eat the entire package of – then don’t buy them.

Don’t buy them.

Don’t buy them.

Leave the biscuits, the crisps and the chocolates on the shelf. It’s okay, somebody else will buy them. They will have a happy home with someone else.

Why sabotage yourself?

Why “test yourself”?

So stack the deck in your favour.

Leave the foods that you know you’ll be triggered, leave them in the grocery store.

Instead, support yourself.

Why make things HARDER on yourself than they need to be?

If you were using your words in a way that prevented weight loss, you’d want to know about it, wouldn’t you?

Here’s the thing – our unconscious mind has a curious quirk.

It’s a quirk that most people don’t know about.

And because they’re unaware of it, they’re unwittingly using their words in a way that sets them up for weight loss failure.

The quirk is this:

… the unconscious mind cannot process a negative.

In English, that means our mind struggles with being told ‘what not to do’.

For example, if I said to you right now, “whatever you do right now, “Don’t think of a pink elephant”.

What happens?

Immediately, you make a picture in your mind of a pink elephant. We can’t help it. It’s what we do. We think of the thing we’ve been told to not think about!

When you give your mind an instruction in the negative it first needs to think of the thing you’re telling it ‘not to think of’, so it can then think ‘aha, so the opposite of that’.

Makes sense?

How does this apply to weight loss?

The language of many women who are unhappy with their weight is phased in the negative, “I don’t want to feel tired stressed and heavy”.

How much better and more accurate does it feel to say I want to feel relaxed, I want to feel light, I want to feel energised.?”

Makes sense right?

Notice how different it feels in your body as you say it as you want it. So start giving yourself clear instructions of how you want to be feeling, the shape and size you want to be, by saying IT AS YOU WANT IT.