Archives 2020

Sometimes when we decide to lose weight, we get all Hollywood about it.

It sounds like that’d be a good thing, but it’s not.

Here’s why…

So you’ve decided on your goal.

Maybe you want to drop a dress size.

Perhaps you want to be a more positive role model for your little girl.

Or, come off the meds.

You start making small regular steps in the right direction.

Add some time, some consistency and some repetition.

And before you know it, your trousers are starting to feel looser and your new habits are beginning to feel ‘normal’.

But…then… …..you stop doing what works.

What’s that about?!!!!!

Maybe you feel pressured with all the “wow, you look amazing” comments.
Perhaps you feel discouraged at the lack of comments from others because you’ve dropped three dress sizes and no-one’s said a thing!!!!
Or maybe, and it’s a biggy…

You’ve fallen for the Hollywood myth.

The Hollywood myth is when we believe the lie that it’ll “happen overnight”.

Losing weight isn’t the immediate, overnight success that we see in the movies. Only in Hollywood does the star wake up with seemingly miraculous results.

Yet we are conditioned to look for those immediate results. And we all secretly hope to find them.

But in real life, dropping a dress size, role-modelling healthy habits for your daughter, or coming off meds, is all about the small decisions you make every single day.

In the moment of each decision, it doesn’t feel that big or that meaningful.

But when you keep making those small decisions every day, you will wake up one day, and you will have achieved the goal that you want.

And I encourage you to make peace with that fact.

Forget about the Hollywood mentality!

Forget about the Oscars!

Keep going lovely.

If you’re tired of the disappointment of ‘Hollywood thinking’ and are ready for mindset shifts to help you create peace with food – I invite you to join my free women’s only Facebook group. It’s called Peace With Food. I’ll see you there!

I’d love to be able to say, “I never overeat”.

But that would be a fib!

However, compared to where I used to be – when I’d graze, nibble and snack my way through the day – things have changed massively.

Do you want to know the #1 mindset shift that made all the difference?

Like so many clients, I had bought into the myth that if I could “be more in control” then “I could lose the weight”.

But I want to let you in on a secret…

Control is not the answer to weight loss.

Diets are all about control.

Food is separated into ‘good’, ‘naughty’ and ‘forbidden’.

Points are counted.

It’s a world of deprivation, rules and control.

And, you know exactly how that ends.

Whenever we have a rigid or militant or controlling relationship with food, there’s the inevitable flipside – that of being completely out-of-control and bingeing.

Having more control isn’t the answer.

Control is an illusion that the diet industry spends billions of dollars trying to convince us is worth our time chasing. But it’s not.

If not control, then what?

My recommendation – from my own experience and from helping hundreds of women create a peaceful relationship with food –

Instead of controlling your body, go for NOURISHING your body.

For example, before you put anything food in your mouth and before you make your choice at a restaurant, ask yourself – will this nourish my body?

Nourishing our body has a very, very different feeling. A different look to it, a very different energy.

And it’s only when we stop trying to control our body, and instead coming from the perspective of nourishing out that we treat her with care and kindness…and we stop punishing ourselves with overeating.

Go play with that question today.

Is that nourishing my body? And see what your body tells you.

If you’ve been in a controlling relationship with your food, learning how to break that pattern and learn to nourish your body is a process. It takes time but it can be done!

If you’d like help with this process – and other mind management techniques – you might like to join my free Facebook group called Peace with Food.

OK, so it’s January and if you’re like most women around the world you’ve decided focus on your health. Good for you.

Your teeth are gritted, your fists are clenched, and you’re telling yourself “this time will be different!!!”

You need the F-word

But I’m here to share that without the F-word, you’ll get the same frustrating result as in past Januarys.

Here’s why…

Before we start the decade afresh, we need to close the door on the shame we carry in our heads about our past diet failures.

Releasing the shame is super important because shame is one of the biggest causes of self-sabotage for us women.

Simply put, if you’re carrying shame, your sparkley new-decade declarations won’t mean a thing.

So how do we start the new decade afresh?

By using the F-Word.

What’s the F-Word?

F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S.

I encourage you to forgive yourself for past diet failures.

With forgiveness it means you can stop obsessing about why you didn’t succeed in the past.

There’s an immense power in forgiveness.

A newness.

A release.

A freshness.

Disappointment, guilt, shame, frustration, resentment – these are very destructive emotions.

They eat away at us, they weigh heavily on hearts (and our hips), and are absolutely incompatible with making peace with food.

All that emotional baggage will predispose you to self-sabotage.

Notice your language patterns

Gently observe your language patterns and notice when you say, “This’ll never work” or “Why do I even bother?”

These language cues are a heads-up you’re still lugging that suitcase of old emotional “stuff” with you which means you’re creating your future from your past.

Start fresh with forgiveness

Who cares how many times you’ve stumbled previously!

Forgive yourself and start again.

Now if you would like more mindset tools to help you make peace with food I encourage you to join me in my free women’s only Facebook group. It’s called Peace With Food.

Sooooooo many women say to me if I just had more will power, I could shift this weight.

But it’s not true.

Relying on will power is a sure fire way to fail.

We fool ourselves by thinking, “If I had more will power, I could resist that chocolate biscuit.”

Here’s why will power fails us….

You see, we all have two minds: the conscious mind and the unconscious mind.

The conscious mind houses your will power.

It’s about 10% of your mind. It’s the part of you that knows intellectually that you shouldn’t eat that fifth chocolate biscuit.

The unconscious mind is the powerhouse – it’s the other 90%.

It’s in charge of all automatic functions like breathing, healing, and it controls all of your eating habits….. including whether you eat that fifth biscuit.

You can see by the numbers that the unconscious mind that’s in control.

For example, try not to understand the following…

Yuor mnid is aimazngly perofwul! Wloceme to a wrold of hddien potential. Brtheae, realx, and konw that cahnge is esay when you use the peowr of your unconscouis mnid, the smae part taht atiutocamally understands thsee wrods.

See, the unconscious mind is an absolute powerhouse!

As you read those words, did you need to think about how to read? You just did it!

So, if you want to become the shape and size you want to be, it’s your unconscious mind you need to change.

Rather than fighting cravings, emotional eating and bad habits you can re-program in new cravings and habits that will make you the shape and size you want to be.

Remember: chagne is esay wehn you konw how!

If finding more will power has failed for you in the past, why not harness the incredible power of your unconscious mind with virtual gastric band hypnosis so that you can be the shape and size YOU want to be?

Now that we are knee deep in holidays, chances are, you’re with your friends or family.

How’s that going for you?!

If we’re not careful, when we’re around friends and family we can start ’emotionally outsourcing’ which leads to emotional eating.

What do I mean by that?

What is emotional outsourcing?

If the kids would just stop bickering, I’d be less stressed and wouldn’t need to nibble on the crisps!!!

If Uncle Jon would stop being so sarcastic, I’d have a better time and I wouldn’t need to eat the Christmas chocolate!!!!

If my partner would help me in the kitchen, I’d feel more supported and I wouldn’t have to take comfort in the lollies!!!

You get the idea, right?!

Emotional outsourcing is when we need other people to behave in a certain way before we allow ourselves permission to feel good.

The truth is we have zero control over others.

Not Uncle Jon, not our kids, not our partner.

The only person we have control over is ourselves.

But by waiting for them to change their behaviour before we feel good is how we give away our power. We abdicate our responsibility to feel good right now as we give control to other people.

You probably know on an intuitive level how frustrating and ineffective it is to try and change other people.

The only person you can control is you.

So breathe deeply, come back to you, girlfriend. You’ve got this.

I get it – this does take practice – it goes against so much of the conditioning that we women receive – but you can do this.

And if you’d like help with your 2020 health goals – and to de-programme all that feminine conditioning that doesn’t support us in our journey – I’m here to support you. The doors to Lighten Up, my online weight loss programme for women, open next week.