Archives 2020

Nothing takes the spring out of our step more quickly than a critical comment made by the wrong person at the wrong time.

How ironic then that the meanest person that we will ever encounter is the one living in our own heads!

You guessed it; today we’re talking about how to tame your inner critic.

The inner mean girl leads to weight gain…

Many clients share that day after day they crucify themselves with de-motivating, nit-picking, meanness.

Which sadly, leads to emotional eating, overeating, comfort eating as a form of numbing the pain.

Hello, vending machine and that third helping of chocolate cake.

Well, don’t we?!

Speaking to you as a reformed emotional eater, you need to start having a meaningful conversation with your inner critic.

Taking control…

Taming your inner critic is something we explore in detail in the Lighten up programme.

But the first step, and something you can do today, is to recognise that are NOT the conversation that is going on in your mind.

This is a light-bulb moment for many women.  To realise that just because there’s a conversation going on in your head –you don’t have to participate in the conversation nor even listen to it.

Awareness is key

The next time your head fills with disapproving voices, I encourage you to have the awareness. Recognise what’s going on.

“Okay, I’m beating myself up, I’m being mean and disapproving of myself.” So that’s the awareness.

And then, simply say, “next, please”.

“Next, please!”

Just because there’s a voice in your head doesn’t mean you have to listen to its pontifications!!!

You wouldn’t bother listening to a music track you don’t enjoy, so why listen to a voice in your head that you don’t enjoy?

So just like you would with that music track. Press fast forwards, or mentally say ‘next please,’ and you’ll be amazed at how that thought shifts away.

Yes, this practice.

And yes, this takes patience.

But it works!

If you’d like more mindset tips for feeling confident around food, I’d love you to join me in my free Facebook group called Peace With Food.

If there was a simple everyday activity you were doing at home — which was potentially setting your daughter up for future weight issues — you’d want to know about it, wouldn’t you?

You need to STOP doing this in front of your daughters

If you’re a mum, I strongly encourage you to throw away your scales.

(Or, if you really,y really, reeeeeeally feel you need to weigh yourself, only weigh yourself when your kids can’t see you).

Why would I toss my scales?

Sure, it sounds harmless, like a small thing but think about it.

When your child sees you on the scales and hears you despairing due to number on the scale what message are you reinforcing?

You’re teaching the idea that the number is mega IMPORTANT.

You’re teaching that she has to look to that number for validation of her loveliness and good enoughness.

And chances are she too will become a slave to that number before she’s even out of her primary school uniform.

Little eyes watch everything

Your daughter is watching everything you do — even if she pretends she isn’t!

We need to teach our children to trust their bodies – to nourish them and listen to them – not be a slave to the number on the scale.

So please, toss the scales.

If you’d like to learn more encouraging and helpful ways to measure progress — which you can share with your daughter, you might be interested in Lighten Up. It’s my six-week online Virtual Gastric Hypnosis programme. Doors open in April. Head on over to Lighten Up for more information.

About 75% of women I work with identify as being “a foodie”.

If you’re a foodie and you’d like to shift some weight,  today’s tip is for you.

What’s a foodie?

A foodie is someone interested in food, someone who is curious about exploring new foods, someone who savours and enjoys their food.

What a foodie isn’t.

– A foodie isn’t someone who goes back for seconds and thirds because “I wouldn’t want it to go to waste” which means every meal becomes an overeating event.

– A foodie isn’t someone who picks and nibbles and grazes so frequently during the day that when night time comes they fall asleep with a food baby stretching their jim-jams.

– A foodie isn’t someone who sprints through their meals so they can speed onto the next thing on their 12-page to-do list.

Get honest

I encourage you to get super honest with yourself.

Are you really a foodie?

Or have you developed some less-than-awesome eating habits? Some less- than-nourishing eating habits and less-than-loving eating habits?

How to start being a true foodie (not a fake foodie!)

One of the simplest steps you can take to be more of a true foodie – and shift some weight in the process – is to slow down your eating.

Savour your food and give yourself time to enjoy your food. 

Eating too fast and eating too much is a habit.

And like all habits, habits can be changed.

If you’d like more mindset tips on how you can enjoy your food and still shift the weight, I’d love you to join me in my free Facebook group called Peace With Food.

How often do you set a goal – maybe drop a dress size, come of meds or feel more energised – but you keep repeating the old behaviour?

We know that doing the same old, same old, isn’t going move us towards our happy shape and size … but we do it anyway!

Same stuff, different day…grrrrrr!

What most people do is this. We create our future from our past.

By that I mean, since we’re repeating the same old behaviours, of course, our future feels like a repetition of the past.

If you recognise this about yourself – you’re not crazy – it’s because our unconscious mind loves the familiar.

So instead of creating your future from your past, what I encourage you to start making decisions from the future happy healthy you.

Here’s how that looks.

Your future looks bright…

Imagine the slim, happy healthy you. The you who is off meds, the you who has lots of energy, the you who’s lost a dress size, or several!

Now imagine that you. And make ALL your decisions from her perspective.

For example, what would she do now?

Literally, ask her advice.

Maybe you’re choosing what to have for breakfast or you’re choosing what to pick from the menu. Maybe you’re thinking about skipping your daily walk!

“What would the future you, the slim, happy, healthy version of you do?”

She’s the version of you who’s already achieved what you want, so she has the answer.

By asking her for guidance, you’re tapping into some very deep wisdom.

And the more you listen to the wisdom of the future you, in the now, the sooner you’ll create the changes you’re after and the sooner the pair of you will meet!

Interestingly, because it’s YOU telling you what to do, you’ll find your inner rebel much more accepting of the advice, than if it came from another person.

Go have a chat with the future of you before you make any more decisions!

If you want more helpful mindset techniques, why not join me in my free women’s-only Facebook group called Peace With Food. I’d love to see you there.

Who hasn’t fallen into the trap of,

– “When these lumps and bumps and wobbly bits have gone, then I’ll love my body.”

– Or, “I’ll enjoy my reflection and shop for clothes when I’m slimmer.”

– “Yeah, sure I’ll moisturise my thighs when they’re size XS.”

Bad news…

If this resonates with you then becoming your happy shape and size is going to be a challenge for you.

Here’s why…

“You’re not good enough for my love…”

When you tell yourself stories like “I’ll love my butt when it’s the perfect peach,” you’re giving yourself conditional love.

And no-one, your beautiful self-included, responds well to conditional love.

Conditional love is about judgement and is very shaming.

It’s saying, “I don’t love you…. sure, if you make some changes, then I’ll consider loving you…. but right now, you’re not good enough for my love.”

Ouch.

If your friend said those words to you, wouldn’t you unfriend them? IMMEDIATELY!!!

And yet we speak to ourselves like that…. all the time.

Conditional love is about beating yourself up. When you think about it, it’s an odd concept.

“If I hate myself enough, I’d end up by loving myself^$#%*!!!”

And, we get so depressed, and down on ourselves we emotionally eat.

So what is the answer then?

Long term weight loss happens when you come from a position of acceptance, knowing that you already are perfect, whole and complete, right now.

Un-learning our broken-ness

Our broken-ness is learned, not innate.

Children come into this world knowing they are already gorgeous and utterly deserving of love.

We need to un-learn the illusion of our broken-ness. Only kindness makes sense. Anything else is excruciating.

We need to take care of our bodies with reverence instead of stuffing her beyond full every meal.

We need to shop for lovely new clothes irrespective our current size. We need to moisturise our thighs even if they’re not size XS.

Start giving her unconditional love today.

If you’re ready to break the old patterns of beating yourself up and you’re ready to fall in love with your body, why not join me in my free Facebook group Peace With Food?